Journey
by Latenightmom
Summary: Sequel to Two Realities - Perenthood, Alicia's done it before, but for Will everything is new. Marriage changed him some, but fatherhood will forever have a lasting effect on his life. A story of love, marriage, family and the law. The fun, and sometimes trying reality of being successful lawyers while raising a child. Starts somewhere around season 8.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N; This is a sequel to Two Realities. But you can follow this without having read the other. Alicia and Will have been married for two years, and they run the firm in New York. Anything else I think you'll gather from the story, but please let me know if anyone has any questions. I'm happy to answer/fill you in!**

 **This chapter is from Will's POV.**

 **Chapter 1, And Baby Makes Three**

 **March 2018**

"Will." Alicia's cry of distress and tight grip on my arm rouses me from my sleep with a racing heart.

"I'm in labor." She says catching her breath.

"Are you sure?" I question sitting up still trying to wake my body from its sleep. I take her hand into mine. She's only thirty four weeks along and we've been through this before three times, three times too many. We're probably headed to the emergency room once again, but surely she isn't in active labor.

"Am I sure?" She glares at me and I can't help but chuckle under my breath. "Trust me-I've been through this before—twice in fact." She says with emphasis through gritted teeth finding no humor in the situation. "This isn't like the other times Will. This is real." She says to try and further convince me. Then another contraction hits and she cries out grabbing her stomach holding tighter to my arm. Once the contraction has passed and she releases her death grip on me, I move into action pulling on my clothes and grabbing the hospital bag. I quickly move back to her and hold out my hand.

"Let's go." But she doesn't move. She doesn't even look up at me just continues to stare blankly at the soft patterned curtains that cover the large windows in our room. Curtains she meticulously picked out like nearly every other item in our New York apartment almost two years ago.

I don't understand why she isn't moving and then it hits me. I bend down in front of her taking her hands into mine. It's time for me to be the brave one. Outwardly anyway, even though I know full well what's running through her mind. It's the same thing running through mine. _Will she still be alive in a few hours to help me raise our baby?_ A baby I've grown quite attached to though we've not formally met. I've spent hours over the past eight months having a one way conversation with this little one. Something Alicia finds quite adorable. This little one and I have already done plenty of plotting against its mother to which Alicia just rolls her eyes.

"Alicia" I say looking right up at her in as gentle and stable voice as I can muster. My touch brings her out of her thoughts as she looks down at me. The look in her eyes is a mix of frightened pain.

She was never supposed to get pregnant. The odds were a million to one. We thought we'd taken the necessary precautions to prevent such an event, but sometimes unexpected things happen.

Words from the doctors themselves three years ago, "Getting pregnant will likely kill her." The memory cut through me like knives the night she told me she was expecting just nine weeks after our second wedding anniversary.

"I'm pregnant" she said. Words that should have been music to our ears caused us to not speak for nearly two weeks. I insisted we couldn't keep it. The doctors were sure it would kill her to carry a child. She insisted we would. Claiming the blood loss and stress of aborting it could cause just as much harm, even death, as easily as carrying the child. It was two weeks in which I wanted to fly back to Chicago and strangle Jeffery Grant for shooting both of us, and leaving her in a coma for nearly six months. A coma that doctors thought she would never come out of. One that has weakened her body physically for the rest of her life, and caused her to have awful nightmares and panic attacks for an entire year.

"Alicia" I try once more to get her to respond.

"Will I'm scared. I don't want to die." She admits with words that both of us are thinking then she looks away.

"Look at me." I say in a whisper. She returns her gaze to me as a few tears escape her eyes. "The hospital is ready. They know of the risks and they are prepared for everything. But we have to get there so that they can take care of both of you." She nods her head then reaches over to the drawer of the bedside table with a shaky hand. She retrieves four envelopes from it.

"What are those?" I question.

"This is just in case… There's one for you, one for Zach and Grace, and one for the baby." It takes only a moment for me to register the meaning of the envelopes and when I figure it out I'm nearly brought to tears. She's written each of us a letter in case she doesn't make it. I can't believe she went through what must have been an agonizing process to write them. I have to swallow hard and pull my emotions together before I can respond so I lean in and press my lips to hers that are salty and wet now.

"Put those back in the drawer. We," I place my hand to her swollen belly. "Aren't ever going to have to open them." I silently hope I speak the truth as the words fall from my lips.

She cries out in pain once again and I decide to take control of the situation. I pull the strap of her bag over my shoulder and lean over lifting her into my arms. She's still light as a feather. She's barely gained any more weight than the baby over these past months even though she's been on very strict bed rest since our second trip to the emergency room fourteen weeks ago. She doesn't protest or say a word just wraps her arms around my neck and rests her head against my shoulder.

I called the hospital on our way. They were ready and waiting when we arrived. I thought my nerves would subside once we were here. But after trying to have a vaginal birth which the doctors thought would be the safest route, her oxygen levels plummeted and the baby was in distress. It was determined her uterus had ruptured. The doctors are just now beginning an emergency c-section procedure. She keeps slipping in and out of consciousness, and I wonder if one of these times she won't wake back up.

I hide my fear and tell her it's okay and that everything will be all right as her eyes flutter open once again. "I love you," she says as tears escape her eyes.

I lean over just inches from her face "I love you too," I respond. A few moments later her eyes flutter shut.

The next thing I hear is a loud cry and the words from the doctor. "It's a girl." I lean over to get a better look as the nurses begin to wipe her clean.

"Dad, do you want to cut the cord?" The doctor asks. A broad grin crosses my lips as I look from the baby to Alicia who hasn't opened her eyes in ten minutes. Then I move around her to do the honors. One snip and it's done and I notice how already this little one looks exactly like her mother. Something that will be a constant reminder of Alicia should she not pull through. My desire to hold her is great but filled with trepidation. I've never held an infant so small. They weigh her and my notions confirmed. She is small at a mere four pounds twelve ounces and seventeen inches long. It's a tender moment and I wish Alicia were awake to see it.

Too quickly things go wrong. They are about to hand the baby over to me when they decide she is having trouble breathing and before I can blink they rush her off to the Nicu.

I turn my attention back to Alicia who is still unconscious. Much to my horror just a few moments later the doctors start frantically working on her. She's hemorrhaging, the very thing everyone was worried about.

They insist I leave the room. "No, I'm not leaving her." I protest. I promised her a long time ago I would be with her past her last breath and I mean to keep my promise. If she's about to take her last breath I want to be here.

I finally relented to their requests and here I am sitting on this cold chair just outside the operating room. It's two in the morning and all I can think about is if I'm soon to be a single father, or even worse just single all together. My heart is about to jump right out of my body waiting for any word on either Alicia or the baby. I'm pretty sure a part of me has died in the past eight months. A part of me that I had to turn off to deal with the circumstances and impending possibilities. A part of me that I hope will live once again assuming we all make it out of this.

Thirty agonizing minutes later the doctor opens the door and comes to sit next to me. I can't tell through the surgical mask if it's good news or bad. I stop breathing. He pulls the mask from mouth and smiles.

"We stopped the bleeding. We aren't out of the woods yet, but I think she's going to be okay." I let out my breath and let my head fall into my hands for support. I am rarely ever brought to tears but a few escape as relief settles over my entire body. This man has just saved the love of my life and the mother of my child.

"Thank you." Are the only words I can muster for the moment. He smiles again.

"You are very welcome. Your wife has a strong will to live. I've only been involved in a few other births with blood loss like this, and similar complications where the mother survived. I'm not going to lie. We have to monitor her very carefully over the next week. It's a miracle she made it." A miracle, words I've heard in reference to her one too many times over the course of the last three years.

"Can I see her?" I ask. I believe him, but I would prefer to see for myself that she is in fact alive.

"Soon," he says. "We're getting some more blood into her and she is still asleep. I called the Nicu. Why don't you go up and spend some time with that little one! She's doing better and breathing on her own now. She must have your wife's genetics!" Obviously, I think to myself. "You can see Alicia when you get back." We stand and I shake his hand thanking him once again before I make my way to the elevator to spend some time with my child. _My child,_ something I never thought I'd be blessed with. The thought warms my entire being as I approach the door to the Nicu.

As I enter I wish more than anything Alicia were with me. I feel completely out of place. The nurses must be used to fathers with deer in the headlights looks, because they immediately lead me over her and begin explaining everything step by step.

"We were about to give her a bath. Do you want to help?", one nurse asks. My feet won't move.

"Y…yes," I think is the correct answer. I can tell the three of them are amused at my hesitancy, but it's nothing they haven't seen before. Just before we begin I remember something and pull out my phone. I was given very specific instructions from—well everyone close to us that I better take lots of photos once this little one arrived. If I don't, both of our mothers, Grace, and even Diane will be serving my head on a platter. I ask one of the nurses if she'll take some photos. She gladly obliges.

They proceed to guide me through the bathing process. I can't stop thinking how everything belonging to this little one is so small, yet I can't believe she fit inside Alicia's stomach. She doesn't appreciate being unwrapped and placed in the warm water, or having her head rubbed with—a toothbrush? Really, I think to myself. Yet this is the tool of choice to clean the thin layer of dark brown hair on top of her head.

She keeps her quiet whimpers up until she's dressed and wrapped tightly in a blanket. One of the nurses places a small pink bow in her hair before placing a soft hat on top of her head. They inform me she has been having trouble keeping her body temperature up. Something that comes as no surprise to me, she definitely has her mother's genetics. They want to put her back under the warm lamps but ask if I would like to hold and feed her first.

"Yes," I say although I'm terrified I won't do it correctly. I'll either drop her or she'll starve I'm sure of it. Now I really wish Alicia were here because she's done all of this before.

I sit in the fairly comfortable rocker and the nurse places her in my arms making sure I support her head. All my fears are soon washed away. She seems to fit like a glove in the crook of my arm. Just like Alicia when she lies on my chest. I begin to rock back and forth and a new kind of love fills my heart as I look down at this being in my arms. It's different from the love I have for Alicia or even my parents. I'm pretty sure if anyone tried to harm her I'd be thrown in jail because they wouldn't survive the attack. I'm suddenly aware of the fact that I'd rather no one get near her unless necessary. What if she catches someone's germs? What if someone squeezes her a little too tightly by mistake? I'm sure these overprotective feelings will subside once I've had some sleep, but for now I feel like I'm the only one capable of protecting her. It is my job as her father after all.

The nurse hands me a bottle and helps me place it just right in her small mouth. "It's important for her to learn how to suck as soon as she can." The nurse says. A natural reflex we are all born with I'm told, but she needs to practice. Little over an hour old and she's already learning. She took to the bottle immediately. My genetics will take credit for this one!

As I continue to rock and feed her the nurses give us some privacy. I take advantage of the brief moment to tell her that her mother made it, and that she won't have to suffer through me parenting her alone. Something we are both grateful for. I know she's grateful because when I tell her the news she opens her eyes. I realize then that her eyes are the only evidence she belongs to me. Every other feature seems to be a replica of Alicia.

She finishes her bottle, the entire two ounces. I'm skeptical this is enough to fill her up but the nurse assures me she doesn't need more. Too soon the nurse insists she be placed back under the warm lights. I hesitantly let her take her from my arms.

"Does she have a name?" The nurse asks as she places her back under the light.

"No" I respond. "Her mother and I couldn't agree on one."

She smiles and politely responds. "Well you certainly aren't the first parents with that kind of trouble!"

As she says this I have an idea for a name that just might satisfy both Alicia and I. I stand to go. The nurse informs me I can come back to hold and feed her again in two hours if I like. I thank her then head back down a floor somewhat anxiously, to spend some time with Alicia. I realize that this is likely how my life will be spent for the next few days splitting my time between these two who I love more than anything else.

I enter her room quietly. There is a nurse in the room checking on her. "She's still asleep." She informs me.

My heart sinks just a bit, but this should come as no surprise to me. Half the time I've spent in hospitals over the past three years has been in waiting for Alicia to wake up. At least this time she's not in a coma like the other two instances. A brief bout of familiarity hits as I move and sit in the chair next to the bed and take her hand into mine. I sit and watch the gentle rise and fall of her chest for a few moments then move my gaze to her face. She looks peaceful now just as she would if she were home sleeping in our own bed. As much as I want to stay awake and not miss a moment my eyes are growing heavy. The stress of the night is catching up to me. I lean back in the padded chair and close my eyes.

I don't think I fell asleep completely, but when I feel Alicia's hand move in my own I open my eyes. The clock on the wall indicates I have slept for nearly two hours. It's five thirty in the morning. My attention is quickly redirected from the clock when I hear my name.

"Will" it comes out quiet and groggy. I smile when I see her eyes open. She looks right over to me.

"Hey" I say squeezing her hand tightly running my thumb across her knuckles. "How are you?" I push further.

"Weak, but Will—did she make it?" I can already see the tears welling up in her eyes, and I realize she wasn't conscious when they pulled the little one from Alicia's stomach. Tears threatening my own eyes once again I smile and nod my head up and down.

"Yes" is all I say and then Alicia's tears begin to fall as a smile of relief and disbelief crosses her lips.

"She's fine." I say to help reinsure my words. "She looks just like you!"

Once her tears subside a short time later, she looks around the room then turns back to me. "Where is she?" It hadn't occurred to me that the lack of the baby's presence would cause her some alarm.

"In the Nicu," I blurt out without thinking about the effect these words would have on her either.

She immediately looks terrified. "The Nicu? I thought you said she was fine."

I have to think fast which would be easier if I weren't so tired. "Alicia, she's okay. She had some trouble breathing so they took her up there. She's breathing on her own now. She's just having some trouble holding her body temperature they're keeping her warm. I promise she is fine." I reach for her other hand as she exhales closing her eyes.

"I want to see her." She insists.

"I promise I'll take you to see her as soon as you have enough strength."

"Okay" She says giving in. It's not what she wants, but it's the way it has to be for now. "We have to give her a name." She says still holding her eyes shut.

"I think I came up with a name you'll like." I say. She opens her eyes and looks at me again. I can tell she doubts my statement.

"Okay let's hear it."

"Mireille" I let the name sink in for a few seconds before I continue. She hasn't come right out and said she hates it yet which is a good sign. "I know it's different but I like the meaning." I continue pleading my case before the toughest judge in the country. "It means miracle and she really is one. Both of your lives are after everything we've gone through to get her here."

She still doesn't respond and I don't know what to think about this silence. She looks at me very seriously pulling one of her hands from mine. She lifts her index finger bending it to indicate she would like me to move in closer to her. She continues this until our faces are just inches from each other.

"It's perfect." She whispers then leans forward placing her hand on my chin pressing her lips to mine. Of all the times I've kissed her this has to be one of the best. We've just crossed another huge hurtle and we both know it. Our time together has been lengthened once again.

We talk for awhile longer. I tell her about my excursion in the Nicu. Some of which she finds quite amusing. I leave her once again to go hold and feed Mira, the nickname she'll go by, with strict instructions to take some more pictures for Alicia to see.

When I return I think Alicia has fallen to sleep again. I sit back in the soft chair taking her hand into mine and close my eyes.

"Will, I love you," she says.

"I love you too," I say squeezing her hand. I can feel sleep setting in once again. But just before I drift off I can't help but feel like the part of me that died the night Alicia told me she was pregnant has come back to life. Though this chair is not exactly ideal for a good night sleep, I'm pretty sure the rest I'm about to experience will be the best sleep I've had in eight months.


	2. Becoming Acquainted

**A/N; Thank you for the reviews and follows! This one is from Alicia's POV. Guategal, this one's for you!**

 **Becoming Acquainted**

It's been an hour since Will went back up to the Nicu. He's stayed longer than the previous two times today. That either means Mira's doing better, and Will's been allowed to hold her longer or something's gone wrong.

I shift in bed at the thought. I'm tempted to get out of this bed and go check on her myself. But with these oxygen tubes still in my nose and the IV in my arm I wouldn't make it very far. Even without the extra medical equipment attached I don't think I'd make it much past the elevator. I really am too weak.

Mira's all I've thought about all day. It really isn't fair to keep a child from her mother. I realize the circumstances are dictating our separation, but that doesn't make it any easier. What if something has gone wrong and I'm not there? I'm her mother I should be there. I'm going to insist they either take me up to see her or bring her down here when its time for her to eat again.

Will's been very diligent in his duty as proxy mother. The look in his eyes when he talks about her—it's a new look. He obviously loves her and she already has him wrapped around her little finger. I chuckle under my breath at the thought because he doesn't even realize it. I can already tell I'll be pinned as the mean parent because I'm fairly certain he will be incapable of saying no to her. It's adorable this side of him. It's made me fall deeper in love with him. Something I didn't think was possible

I'm glad he can be with her, but I wish I could see her and hold her. I love the first few days with a newborn. You can fumble with their little fingers and toes and it doesn't even faze them because they are so sleepy. And all of their little squeaks and sighs are like music to a mother's ears.

My eyes are growing heavy again. I hate feeling so tired and under the effects of medication. My eyes start to give way as I imagine the three of us home together. The thought of the peace and quiet of our apartment without all the interruptions from doctors or nurses sounds heavenly. I've already been reminded of the reality of sleeping in a hospital bed. It's so uncomfortable. I'm sure my back would be objecting to the bed if I weren't so highly medicated at the moment. I need to remember to send Will home for hospital survival supplies. The list will include two pillows from our bed. My expensive, very good body lotion because giving birth makes my skin extremely dry. A pair of my own socks, and he'll need to bring me decent cup of coffee every morning.

 _Where is he?_ I sigh in resignation ready to fall asleep again when the door opens. I manage to open my eyes once more and there he is with that adorable grin that hasn't disappeared from his lips all day. Not even when he was sleeping this morning. I ponder for a millisecond about getting after him for taking so long, but admittedly I'd stay for as long as I could.

He stops just inside the door and looks back out saying something to someone that I can't hear. He moves further into the room and sits on the edge of the bed next to me. He's up to something I can tell. His smile has turned to the mischievous one that appears right before he surprises me with something, or tickles me, whichever the case may be.

"I have a surprise for you!" he says leaning over placing a kiss on my lips. With just one kiss he is back in my good graces forgiven of any previous sins. The "sin" in this case being his late arrival. He could probably kiss his way out of almost anything, but I would never admit it to him.

"Really, what is it?" I ask. I expect him to pull something out of the pocket of his pants but he stands up and moves to the door.

"A visitor!" he says, signaling whoever it is to enter. I hope desperately it's the baby but I try not to get my hopes up. Maybe it's Grace and Zach. They said they'd drive up from Georgetown after classes ended today. They have spring break next week, and were planning on coming home this weekend anyway. But it's not late enough in the day for it to be them.

My tears fall freely as Will takes one end of the bassinette that I can now see being pushed through the open door. I gasp in excitement cupping my hands over my mouth. Will moves her closer but I can't make out any of her features because she's wrapped up so tightly. This is better than any surprise he's ever given me. And there have been many. If there were ever a man intent on making his wife happy, I'd have to say Will has mastered the skill. I think he's trying to make up for lost time over the years, which isn't necessary, but I'm not about to stop him.

He reaches in and lifts her out. Still smiling he leans over as I hold out my arms so the two of us can become acquainted.

"Hello little one," I say, as the tears continue to stream down my face. I pull her in close admiring every single inch of her. She's perfect in every way. My heart finally feels the comfort it's been longing for all day. I turn her so that her head is nestled just under my chin so that I can feel her breathe against my neck. I may not give her back now that we're together.

I'm struck by how small she really is. Zach and Grace were both full term. Zach weighed eight pounds, and Grace was seven and a half. They both had Peter's height at twenty one inches. Mira is quite small compared to them.

Her eyes remain shut. All the jostling from bringing her down a floor has not disturbed her sleep.

Will sits next to me as best he can with the same grin permanently painted on his lips. "She's beautiful Will. Thank you for bringing her," I say, gently pulling her back down. I fumble with the pink blanket just enough to uncover her fingers.

"I know! And you're welcome," he says placing one arm around me and bringing his other to rest under her. For the first time in months all seems right. Here the three of sit safely together and I can't help but feel relief. I can finally allow myself to start thinking about our long term future. Something that up until now I couldn't bare to think about in case I wasn't a part of it.

"Did she eat well again?" I ask running a soft finger over her little cheeks.

"Yes, she really enjoys her food." He says proudly. "She was awake for awhile when I was talking to her."

And like the flip of a coin as soon as she hears his voice she opens her eyes. Now I'm not sure who has who wrapped around their finger. I can't help but feel a little jealousy at her reaction to him. I remind myself she will show just as much interest in me in time. In fact I know that there will come a time about eighteen months from now where she won't want to let me out of her sight. And I'll have to remind myself of my slight jealousy in this moment.

It doesn't surprise me she reacts to his voice because of all the conversations he had with her while she was still inside of me. I will never get over those conversations. Some nights he'd come home and spend more time talking to her than he would me. He was always telling her how much he loved me. He'd tell her all about how he did in court and whether or not he'd been a nice lawyer or a mean one on any given day.

Some of the most entertaining conversations he had with her were those that consisted of telling her about all of the crazy extended family members she would soon meet. Or the conversations that consisted of his one way plotting of ways the two of them would conspire against me. He'd tell her things like how on Friday nights when Mommy works late he'll let her stay up with him to watch Cinderella. I once asked how old he thought she'd be when he'd let her do this. He said four or five. Little does he know that allowing her to do such things at that age will most likely bring a temper and crankiness the next day. The likes of which he's never seen! But I love how in love he is with the idea of fatherhood. And I hope he'll get around to doing all the things he's already planned to do with her.

As I continue to look into her eyes I realize they are his eyes. This causes me to smile. Someday she'll use those eyes to lure an unsuspecting mate, just like her father did. Of course that will involve him allowing her to date. Something he has already forbidden until she graduates from law school.

I move my hand to unwrap her so I can take a peek at the rest of her tiny features. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." he says with a slight laugh and raise of the eyebrows.

"Why?" I question rolling my eyes as I continue to unwrap the tight swaddle. Not mere seconds later I'm greeted with my answer and this only causes Will to laugh harder. As soon as her limbs are exposed she starts a quiet wail. It's not very loud, but she is definitely showing disapproval of her mothers desire to see every inch of her.

"Shhhh" I say trying to calm her. "You're just fine." I lay her down on my legs so I can swaddle her back up.

"She doesn't like being unwrapped," I am informed by her amused father.

"Obviously" I state as I finish bundling her back up. Once she's suffocatingly wrapped up tight, her whimpers subside and she looks at me with disapproval before closing her eyes once more. Fabulous, I think sighing. She and I are already at odds.

"You should take a look at her hair. The nurses put a bow in it!" He says still smiling.

I innocently tug at the small knit hat on top of her head and I realize immediately this was a ploy by her father to get another chuckle at his wife's expense. This time she cries with more enthusiasm than before. He laughs again and I slap him playfully.

"She likes that even less," he states. "I think she'd still prefer to be warm and protected inside of you." He says without sarcasm this time.

I gently place the hat back on her head which calms her cries. "You can't really blame her." I say snuggling her up against my chest gently bouncing her. "She still had some time left to grow in her warm and safe environment. She's probably just feeling a bit jipped under the circumstances."

"That may be, but this Daddy is glad she's out."

Will settles next to me and I lean back settling into the niche against his shoulder. The bed is too small, but I wouldn't have it any other way. He wraps his arm around me letting it rest on the baby as I pull her in closer. Finally we're all together. I look up at him and he leans over and presses his lips to mine. When I pull away a few moments later, I can't help but notice the tiredness in his eyes.

"You should go home and get some good sleep." I say. He looks from me to the baby and then back.

"No, I'm right where I want to be. And someone will need to eat again soon!"

"I could feed her." I say protesting.

"I know, but I like doing it."

"It won't do any of us any good if we're both exhausted." I only push further because I can tell how tired he is. I also know how tired we will both be in two weeks once we're all home.

"Alicia, I almost lost both of you fifteen hours ago. I've never been so scared in my whole life. And that is really saying something considering this wasn't the first, or even second time you almost died." His admission is a reminder of how scared I was myself last night. "We are all finally safe and together. I can't leave this, not yet." He leans his head forward placing his forehead to mine. "I'm staying here with you."

"Okay," I say, bringing my hand to his chin and giving him a kiss before we turn our attention back to the baby.


	3. Home

**A/N; A big thanks to my new beta K. And thanks to all of you who have followed and reviewed. I have a list of events, and moments I plan on covering in this story, but let me know if there are events or moments you would like to see played out!**

 **Home**

With any luck, I will be taking Alicia and Mira home in less than an hour. It's been ten days since Mira made her debut into this world, and already she's caused me more worry and stress on a few occasions, than I would prefer. Her respiratory system, and inability to keep her body temperature up, gave her some struggle for a few days, scaring the life right out of Alicia and I. "Get used to it." Alicia told me. "You will spend the rest of your life concerned in some way about her well being." I may never sleep well again at the thought.

Now the doctor's have given her a clean bill of health, and Alicia is finally strong enough to go home. I will never get over the determination in that woman. Her battle to regain her strength has been difficult. But she's done everything the doctor's told her to do, which wasn't very pleasant at some points.

Although it would have been nice to have spent some time at home with Zach and Grace while they were here, we made the best of things here at the hospital. Grace of course loves having a little sister, and insisted on putting a "little sister" outfit on Mira as soon as she arrived. Zach would probably never admit it, but he was pretty smitten with his baby sister as well. He would take his turn at holding her, but there was no gushing coming from him. Unless you count the time when Grace and I had gone to get some lunch and he thought Alicia was sleeping. When Zach had Mira to himself he showed his true tender side, telling Mira he wouldn't let his Mom and sister get too carried away with all the girly stuff, and that he would teach her how to defend herself against obnoxious boys. He also told her he would show her how to play a good forward in soccer after which he told her he would leave the basketball and baseball instruction to her father. I'm glad to know he and I are on the same page now that we no longer have an equal vote on things.

They stayed four of the seven days they had originally planned. We understood, this was not exactly the spring break they had planned on spending with us. School is out in another six weeks anyway, and they promised they would come for another visit before their summer jobs begin.

/

As we enter the apartment I can see the relief written all over Alicia's entire body. We move into the living room and Alicia looks around as if taking inventory. I set the baby down and take Alicia's coat.

"You kept it pretty clean while I was gone!" she says, smiling at me moving closer so that I can wrap my arms around her.

"I was hardly here, not really enough time to make a mess of things!" I say in response to her comment. I continue to hold her for a few minutes because finally I have her all to myself again. She looks up at me at and moves in for a kiss. The kiss is interrupted too quickly by someone who is already showing her dislike to her parent's many displays of affection for one another. We both smile and turn our attention to her.

"Get used to it kid." I say. "I love your Mom, and I'm going to kiss her whenever I feel like it!" This causes a chuckle out of Alicia who moves to pull her out of the car seat to be fed.

"After Mommy feeds you, I am going to give you a tour of your new digs. Then I'm cooking dinner for the adults in this house," I say, picking up Alicia's bag from the hospital.

"Will, you don't have to cook tonight. We can get take out from somewhere." She says as she sits down on the sofa. "I have really missed our furniture!" she says, as she begins to settle against the soft cushions.

"We have had enough mediocre food in the past two weeks to last a lifetime. I am making us something good tonight!" She gives me her smile that means she's grateful without having to say a word. I take her bag into the bedroom, and then move Mira's things to her room. When I return Alicia seems to be looking at something but I can't quite tell what.

"Where did all of the flowers come from?" she asks. There are large vases of flowers spread throughout the kitchen, dining, and living areas.

"From just about everyone we know! They started showing up two days ago when word got out that you two were finally coming home." I say sitting next to her. She smiles and shakes her head. "If you think there are a lot of flowers, you should see the pile of gifts stacked up on the bed in Grace's room," I say, putting my arm around her.

"You're kidding right?" she says, with a surprised look on her face.

"No! Remember you were supposed to have had a baby shower last Saturday while Grace was here. I've been told that everyone would still like to get together, but that you and the baby might need some of the gifts before then. Nearly every night when I've come home Chad has helped me carry an armful of bags and boxes up. There are definite advantages to having a doorman."

"Where are we going to put it all?" she asks.

I just smile. "I thought I'd let you figure that out! I'll also let you write all of the thank you notes!" I move back a little as she rolls her eyes because I know she's about to playfully slap my arm. She stands and walks towards the kitchen pulling Mira closer to her.

"Daddy thinks he's being funny! But I have ways of ways of dealing with that!" I laugh under my breath because she is dead right.

/

I have Mira in one arm and case documents in the other. I've worked it out so that I can stay home for at least another week with Alicia. There are advantages to having a home office, and being a name partner. But there is still work to be done. Alicia had been reading a book on the sofa, but stands and moves over to us. "I'm going to shower. At some point you are going to have to let her sleep in her own bed instead of your arms! She can't go to work with you." Mira starts to fuss, probably due to gas bubbles in her tummy.

I smile back at her. "Sure she can. The clients and judges would be so busy ogling over her when I stand to cross examine with her in my arms, I'd win all my cases!" This causes both of us to chuckle.

"She has to learn to sleep in her own bed." She says more seriously. Mira cries a little louder as if on cue, when Alicia says this.

"She's protesting the strict rules you have set for the two of us," I say, in Mira's defense. Alicia rolls her eyes.

"She ate not too long ago. She's been changed, and you played with her. You should put her in her bed for the night." She places a kiss on my cheek and moves towards the hall. I know she's right, but I really enjoy holding Mira, and her room is so far away from ours.

Alicia pauses and turns back towards me. "Will, you will appreciate my rules when she starts sleeping for more than three or fours hours at a time during the night." I turn and look at her. "Especially since you have to take care of her feeding in the middle of the night."

She isn't wrong. One of the key things to Alicia recovering is that she get enough sleep, and that means that for now she get at least five or six hours of continuous sleep during the night and plenty of rest during the day. So I will fulfill my fatherly duty and take care of the feeding that needs to occur during that nighttime period.

"I know." I say with a sigh. Alicia smiles and moves down the hall towards our bedroom. I put the documents down and stand up bouncing Mira slightly to help settle her stomach. I carry her in the opposite direction Alicia went, down the other hall towards Mira's bedroom.

"Mommy says you have to sleep in here all the way across the apartment from us. I think that means I'm not allowed to hold you again until you need to eat. Between you and me, I think Mommy is feeling a little jealous. She used to be the only one getting held in this house. But don't worry. I think she figures at night it's her turn for my attention. And she's probably right." I place one last kiss on her cheek and place her in her in the crib making sure she's swaddled up tight, and that her hat is placed firmly on her head. Before leaving the room I look around. It took me four hours to put the crib together, but it looks perfect in this room that Alicia had to design from a laptop while sitting on the sofa in the front room a few months ago.

Mira doesn't seem to mind Alicia's rules as much as I do. I turn out the light and close the door leaving it cracked just a bit. I turn out the lights in the apartment as I make my way back to our bedroom.

Alicia just finished showering and I can hear her finishing up her nightly beauty routine as I climb into bed. The extra noise in the apartment again is very welcome. I've wondered over the past week how I ever managed to be a bachelor for so long. Living alone at this point seems like a thousand years ago, and I wouldn't want to go back. The quiet sound of Alicia's footsteps on the dark wood floors, or the sound of her brushing her teeth has become soothing music to my ears.

I watch as she moves out of the bathroom in her favorite pair of pajamas that are so worn at this point that I used to tease her about it. I stopped doing that a few months back because they are one of many little things that I love about her. She and I stopped overlooking the little things nine months ago and began to treasure them instead. Seeing her in them brings a smile to my lips.

I watch her rub lotion into her hands as she moves around the bed. She sits down and continues to rub more of this ridiculously expensive lotion into her dry feet. She must sense I am watching her. "What are you staring at?" she says, turning to me continuing to rub lotion up her arms.

"You!", I say. This causes a tired but bright smile to cross her lips and she leans over to place a kiss on my lips. She turns out the lamp and moves close to me under the covers. I place my arm around her as she lays her head on my chest. Finally she is back right where she belongs. I have truly missed having her in our bed next to me at night.

Before she became pregnant, late at night in this bed was sometimes the only quiet moment of any given day we had to spend between the two of us, a hazard of our chosen profession. The bed became a more integral part of our lives after she became pregnant. At some points it became the whole of our apartment due to her bedrest. We did everything from here eating and sleeping, and we both worked, sometimes for three or four days at a time. After sleeping at the hospital for two nights Alicia convinced me to come home and sleep at night. That and she wanted to make sure someone was here with Zach and Grace so they wouldn't feel that their whole trip was a waste. But this large oversized King bed was very empty without her.

I lean over and kiss the top of her forehead. Something I've done nearly every night we've been in the same room together, even before she woke up from the coma four years ago.

"I'm glad to be home in our bed," she says, rubbing my chest.

"Me too," I respond, running my hand up and down her arm.

"Are you sure Mira will be alright in her room?" I question. I'm still worried she's going to stop breathing during the middle of the night, and we won't know until it's too late, or that she'll wake up and we won't hear her. Alicia chuckles as she lifts herself up onto her elbows and looks at me.

"I'm positive! That baby monitor you insisted we spend a small fortune on," she says, pointing to the lit up monitor on the nightstand next to the bed. "Will alert us to any noise she makes. And if you're really concerned you can push this button," she leans across me and pushes the small lit up button on the monitor. "And watch her for as long as you like." She says it lovingly running her hand across my chest. She knows it's just another concern of mine being a first time parent.

"Okay," I say, smiling at her. She reaches over me turning the video feature back off and places her hand on my cheek forcing me to turn my attention back to her. She leans over placing a kiss on my lips. Our lips stay locked for a long period. This is far better than kissing her each night before I left the hospital.

After she pulls away she looks at me again. I can make out the change in her eyes from the moonlight that's shining through the window. "Someday you'll be glad her room is far away from ours!"

I smile and lean forward. "Yes, I plan on making up for ten months worth of lost time, starting in about four more weeks, for years to come!" I say, placing another kiss on her lips. A few minutes later she returns her head to its resting place on my chest, exactly where it belongs. As I drift off to sleep all I can think about is how glad I am to have all of us home.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N; Thank you for all for your follows and reviews including those guest reviewers who I don't get the chance to thank personally.**

 _ **May 2018**_

I reach my arm across the soft sheets of our bed to touch Will and am met with nothing but the sheets. From the cold feel of them he hasn't been here in quite some time. I turn to look at the clock it reads five in the morning. Will has been slammed with work this week being in court, and attending a few sessions of the annual ABA conference being held here this year. I can't believe he would have gotten up already. He was exhausted last night when he finally came home after the baby and I had already gone to bed. It being Saturday he doesn't have court, or need to go into the office early. His plan for today was to attend the final sessions of the conference with Cary and Diane. They don't begin until nine.

Suddenly it occurs to me that Mira may have woken and I didn't hear her. I bet that's where Will has gone too. It is about time for her to eat so I make my way over to the nursery and pause with a smile at the door taking in the scene set before me. Will is sound asleep in the soft oversized rocker with Mira sleeping peacefully in his arms. At this angle with both of their heads turned to the side I notice how the peaceful expression on her face is identical to the one on Will's. It's heartwarming to catch a glimpse of this and realize that she is as much of him as she is of me.

I'm tempted to leave them both in peace, but part of me worries his grasp on her will loosen a little too much and she will fall from his arms. I move into the room to take her from him, but not before I get a few good photo shots first.

I slowly reach to take her from Will's arms in an attempt to let him sleep, but as soon as I remove her from his warm grasp she begins to fuss. Will's eyes slowly open and he looks disoriented until he realizes where he is.

"What did you do to her?" he says teasingly as her whimper turns into a louder cry.

I roll my eyes and sigh. "I saved her from crashing to the floor. When did she wake up?" I question, pulling her in close to try and calm her cries.

Will is still trying to wake enough to have a semi coherent conversation and looks at me with quizzical eyes. "She didn't wake up," he said, rubbing his hands over his face. "After I came to bed I wanted to hold her for a few minutes so I came in here and obviously fell asleep."

I would like to believe that children don't choose a favorite parent at two months old, but it would be a lie if I didn't think that Will was the favorite in this family. As has become custom these days, most likely due to the fact that Will has hardly been here in two weeks, at the continued sound of his voice and the realization that her daddy is near but not as near as she would prefer, Mira starts to wail.

"She's probably hungry, I'll go make her a bottle," Will says, slowly making his way to the kitchen. I gently rock her as I move out into the living room and sit on the couch. Just a few moments later Will returns with a bottle in hand. I take it from him and place it in her mouth, but she continues to cry.

"Here let me try," Will offers, taking her from me and resting her gently in one of his arms. And then I have my evidence that he is the favorite, for as soon as she is settled in the crook of his arm she immediately calms and is quite content with her warm meal. I roll my eyes again and lean against Will's shoulder.

"She has you wrapped around her little finger," I muse as I settle against him.

"No," he protests. "She hasn't seen much of me all week. She just needs a little daddy time!" His eyes gleam at the statement and a broad smile crosses his lips. I already know that in this house it will be me against the two of them more times than I'm willing to imagine at this point. Thank heavens Grace is still on my side of this camp!

"Besides, she and I have to discuss our Mother's day plans for tomorrow!" he says as he lifts her to his shoulder for burping.

He's been hinting all week that he and the baby have big plans. I hope all it really involves is a nice lunch out somewhere, and a quiet day at home without work. I'm also hoping to get some face time with Zach and Grace.

_

I place the last wine glass on the dining table and stand back to observe my work of the past few hours. I'm glad to know that I haven't lost my touch for throwing a dinner party. It's been months since Will and I have had the opportunity to hold such an event for some of our closest friends. I admittedly reveled in the opportunity to put on a nice evening dress and do something more formal with my hair. It's nice to finally be fitting back into some of my favorite clothes. After trying on several dresses and asking Mira's opinion, of which she was no help, I finally decided on the dark red one that falls just at my knees. I seem to remember this particular dress as being one of Will's favorites. It may be a risk to have put such an outfit on with Mira, the chances of being spit up on are not to be overlooked, but the pros definitely outweigh the cons for tonight.

I quickly check the time on my watch as I put the finishing touches on the salad I've prepared. Its a few minutes past eight, and Will should be here any minute with our guests. The occasion that brought on this little soirée is a multitude of things, but first and foremost it's a thank you slash sending off event for Cary. I started working part time from home a few weeks ago, and it's time for Cary to go back to Chicago. He came to New York at the beginning of the year when I had to give up working even from home, and Will dramatically cut back his hours in order to spend as much time with me as he could in the event that those months were to be our last. It truly is thanks to Cary that the New York branch has continued on such a smooth path for the past five months. You find out quickly who your true friends are, and who is more than happy to grab the corner office and throw you and your years of hard work aside.

Mira begins to fuss as I light the last candle in the center of the table. I have the lights turned down low. One of the things that drew Will and I to this apartment when we moved here, were the large floor to ceiling windows and the view of the city. With the lights dimmed at night it's a spectacular scene from the dining and living areas.

I gently lift Mira from her swing where she's been quite content for the past while just as the front door opens and I hear the all familiar voices of Will, Diane, Kurt, Cary and Kalinda. Cary is the only one I've seen in nearly a year now, and honestly they are all a welcomed sight for these eyes.

Will leads the group into the living room moving over to me and placing a gentle kiss on my lips. "Sorry we're a little late. The last session of the conference ran overtime, and then we had to grab Kurt and Kalinda."

"Its fine, I just finished preparing the food." I say to reassure him turning my attention to our guests who greet me warmly. Everyone's attention is quickly drawn to the wrapped up bundle in my arms. Will takes her from me and hands her over.

"Will, are you sure she is your child? She looks just like Alicia!" Kalinda teases and everyone laughs.

"Ha ha," he says with a grin. "She has my eyes, and that's all the proof you need."

"Good thing, because there is no other evidence she belongs to you!" Cary adds amusingly.

With Mira being passed among our guests, Will helps me get the food to the table. After we're all seated I continue to notice the subtle sneaky looks that everyone keeps passing as we finish up the salad and move on to the main course. Something is up, and I seem to be the only one not in the know. At the end of the main dish, and as dessert and more wine are being served I can't take it anymore so I speak up if for no other reason than to quiet my curiosity. "Okay, what's going on?" I question, and everyone's attention turns to me.

Will smiles, clearly deciding it's time for a little fun as he responds. "It's my fault. I clearly need to get you out of the house more often!"

"What's your fault?" I say placing my napkin on the table.

"The fact that you've been so involved in the opportunity for some adult conversation that you've missed something." Everyone chuckles, but I don't see the humor in this at all.

Cary speaks up. "Alicia we have some news for you!" he says taking Kalinda's hand into his. The fact that he takes her hand is no surprise to me. Cary and Kalinda have been dating for nearly two years now. There is another pause and I look around the table they are waiting for something, but I don't know what. So I turn my attention back to Cary.

"So what is this news?" I say with a gentle smile. He's about to say something, but then Will shakes his head and cuts in.

"We're ready to open up the D.C. branch!" Will says with a smile, placing his arm around me while continuing to hold Mira in his other.

"That's wonderful!" I respond. This has been in the works for months but nothing seemed to be pulling together. It's only when I turn my gaze back to Cary and kalinda that I notice something for the first time this evening, and I realize that this was actually meant to be the news Cary spoke of just moments before. Will was right, I had been very unobservant, and he obviously wanted to see how long it would take me to notice the diamond that sat on Kalinda's left hand.

I can't help but stare at it. It seems so out of place on her hand. Yes, she and Cary seemed to be in a serious relationship, but I can't quite get over the idea that Kalinda's "flexible" relationship views have changed. I honestly never thought she'd want to commit to just one person again after her previous marriage. I really have been out of the loop even though Will has done his best to keep me in it. I had no idea our two friends had grown so close.

Everyone seems to notice my recognition at the fact at hand, and Will chuckles under his breath and gently kisses the top of my head. "You're right this is your fault!" I muse with a quick glance in his direction before turning my attention back to Cary.

Cary smiles making eye contact with me. "We're getting married!" He leans over and kisses Kalinda as I stand from the table and go over to hug them.

"I'm so happy for you both! When's the big day?"

"We haven't decided yet." Kalinda says, as she takes Cary's hand into hers.

"Well congratulations!"

We all move to the living room for more comfortable seating and get caught up on Diane and Kurt's latest adventures. I have to chuckle to myself listening to them. They are completely opposite in so many ways, but honestly they couldn't be a more perfect couple. And when I hear about Diane going hunting with Kurt I just can't imagine it. So Kurt pulls out his phone to show me the proof. Sure enough, there is Diane Lockhart in hunting gear. I am certain I could die now and honestly say I have really seen it all!

Will excuses himself for a few minutes to put Mira to bed. Once he's out of ear shot Diane turns to me. "Is he always so adorable with her, or is it just a show he's putting on for us?"

I chuckle under my breath and shift a bit to get more comfortable. "You mean is he always like putty in her hands? Yes! But don't tell him that, he thinks he's just like every other father on the planet! And certainly don't tell any of our clients that he has a soft side. It might ruin his reputation!" Everyone chuckles. "His attentiveness is a bit stronger tonight since he hasn't spent much time with her over the past few weeks." I add for a little more context.

"Have you guys decided on a nanny yet?" Kalinda asks.

"No, I don't know what the hang up is. But every time I bring it up we talk about it for a few minutes and he changes the subject. It's just going to take some time for him to get used to the idea that someone other than us is quite capable of taking care of her."

"Hey, maybe he could be a stay at home dad! He seems to have a real knack for the whole father thing!" Cary says. Everyone chuckles again.

"No, he loves the law too much, and I'd be willing to bet that after a few weeks of full time care he'd want back into the workforce!"

The hour grew quite late before we all said our final goodbyes. It was refreshing to spend time with some of my most favorite people. Once Will and I retire to the bedroom I notice a package lying on the bed, and can't imagine how he snuck it past me. "What's this?" I ask as he begins to unbutton his shirt.

He moves over to me placing his arms around my waist. "That is your Mother's day gift," he says as he places a gentle kiss on my lips.

"You can open it now if you want," he says with a twinkle in his eye. "It is technically Mother's day now."

I can't decide if I should open it now, or wait until later. But watching him I know he's hoping I'll relieve the suspense and open it now. So I agree and sit on the edge of the bed. He sits next to me and places his arm around my shoulder as I open the meticulously wrapped box. "Did Diane wrap this for you?"

He smiles sheepishly, and I have my answer. "I was so excited I had to show it everyone first so I didn't get it gift wrapped. Diane couldn't handle me giving it to you in a paper bag!" he admits.

I smile as I open the lid and remove the tissue paper. A few weeks earlier while Grace and Zach were here we had a professional photographer come in and take some family photos. The prints weren't due back for another week, yet here they were. All but the larger one I plan on putting above the fireplace mantle. There are no frames, Will didn't dare, or want to try, to figure out what would go with the rest of the apartment decor. However at the bottom of the box is one framed photo with a shot I don't remember us taking. I pull the framed print from the box admiring the soft black and white image of Will and Mira.

"I don't remember the photographer taking this," I say still staring at the beautiful portrait.

"That's because you weren't here when she took it," he says smiling placing a soft kiss on my forehead. "You left with Grace after the session, remember?"

I think back on the day two weeks earlier and he's right. Grace told me she needed some new clothes for her summer job so she and I left as the photographer was cleaning up.

"I had already talked to Grace and the photographer about my plans." he admits with his "I got you" look. "I didn't want Zach and Grace to feel left out, but they both thought it was a great idea!"

I turn my gaze to his with a few tears in my eyes. "It's perfect."

"I'm glad you like it. There are a few other images, including a great one of Mira and Zach that you can look at and get prints to add to our album if you want."

"Thank you! I love it." I say as I place the frame next to the lamp on the bedside table. I stand and begin removing my dress to get ready for bed. Will stands to help with the back zipper then turns me to face him.

"Happy Mother's day!" he says. I smile as his hands begin to run along my now bare back, and he pulls me in close for a passion filled kiss. I obviously made the right decision on the dress.


	5. The Nanny

_**June 2018**_

I'm growing tired of this process. The process of finding a nanny. You would think that after a month of searching we could find someone suitable to take care or Mira. We interviewed three more applicants this morning and as Alicia walks back into the room after letting the fourth and final applicant of the day out I can feel the stress that is evident in her every feature. That makes ten for the week.

"We can't hire her," I say running a hand through my hair and leaning back against the couch. Alicia has been patient and held her tongue, quite frankly for longer than I expected during this process. But I can tell by the way she's glaring at me hands on her hips and unwilling to sit on the couch next to me, that we are just moments away from a confrontation.

"Will, we have to hire a nanny. I didn't like that one either, but there have been at least three other good applicants this week. I am going back to work in two weeks, we have to hire someone." She keeps her hands on her hips waiting for me to respond. I am the cause for her frustration and I know it. If we don't decide on someone by the end of the weekend I'm sure she will hire her first choice on Monday with or without my approval.

"I know," I say, as I stand and move over to her. She backs up as I approach folding her arms across her chest.

"No Will, I don't think you do. I would have gone with Sarah a week ago, but with every single applicant you have found something wrong. No one is going to be perfect. You and I aren't perfect. But I am going back to work, full time. I am not staying home with her." The tone she uses as the words slip from her mouth would make an outsider think she didn't love Mira. But it's not that. She loves our child as much as I do, but she's ready to get back to the law, and do the other things she loves besides taking care of me and the baby.

"We have to have someone here to take care of our daughter. So unless you're willing to take on that responsibility, we have to make a decision." She sighs and moves to the window overlooking the city. There is a scary truth to her statement about me being the one to stay home. The thought has crossed my mind a time or two in the past few months. I love the law and all that Alicia and I have built here in New York, but I love our daughter more. The thought of leaving her with a stranger for so many hours of every day makes my stomach do somersaults inside. At least when one of us is here with her I know she's safe. I move over to Alicia and place my arms around her from behind.

"We are interviewing two more tomorrow morning. I promise we will make a decision by the end of the weekend." I can feel the tension in her body. She knows of my hang ups with a nanny. The main issue being that can you really trust an average nineteen to twenty-six year old with the life of your child. Sure women at this age give birth to and care for children every day. Alicia did it at twenty-five. I just wish we had interviewed someone a bit older with more experience. The nanny agency we are going through has promised a few "older" applicants tomorrow. Even though I've just told Alicia I'll make a decision by Sunday night, I find it highly unlikely in reality that we will find someone we can both agree on in the next thirty-six hours. Mira begins to cry from her room, and Alicia sighs. I have worked late every night this week, and last night Mira kept her up half the night.

"Fine," she says in an exhausted tone, and then walks past me towards the front door. "I'll be back in awhile. I need to run some errands before the firm's summer social tonight."

"Good, because Mira and I have a full schedule planned for this afternoon."

She can't help but smile. "Oh really?" she says, walking back towards me. "Let me guess? Hours of baseball on the couch over there?" I walk over to her and place a kiss on her cheek.

"It has become a Saturday afternoon tradition!" I say.

She rolls her eyes patting me on the chest. "You're still in trouble, but I washed her pink baseball uniform this week. It's hanging in her closet. You two see if you can keep the mess to a minimum today!" she says as she turns and heads for the door once again.

"Hey, I can't help it if our daughter can't keep her liquids down all the time." She just chuckles and leaves.

I spend the next few hours in the family room with the game on playing with Mira. She started to smile a few weeks ago and seems to enjoy the silly faces I make at her, and the soft toys we have for her. Alicia tells me that sometime in the next few weeks she may even laugh. It's exciting to see her grow. Just yesterday she rolled over for the first time. Thankfully Alicia caught it on tape. I also spend this time we have to ourselves explaining baseball to her. By the time she can talk she will be a pro at spitting off baseball facts.

Eventually Mira grows sleepy and we both lay on the couch. I must have eventually fallen asleep as well because the next thing I know I hear Alicia's voice calling my name. I open my eyes to see Alicia sitting on the edge of the couch with a gentle smile. I peer down slightly and find Mira sleeping peacefully sprawled across my chest.

"Hey handsome! We have to leave in an hour. You should get showered." It takes me a few moments to fully awaken and I look at my watch.

"How long have you been home?" I now notice she has changed into a flattering sleeveless light blue linen dress, and has pulled her hair up. She looks amazing as always. It's perfect for the baby's debut with our co-workers and Alicia's return to the working world.

"Long enough to get showered, and take a few photos of you two!" she says, as she lifts Mira off of me. "Come on sweetie. Mommy is not going to allow your daddy to keep you in this uniform for the party!"

"Hey, she looks good in that! I bet all the men would think it was quite appropriate for an outdoor summer event!" She just laughs and continues on to Mira's room.

* * *

As we drive to the outdoor venue neither of us say much. I can tell there is something on her mind, although it's not something that seems to be bothering her. Having an afternoon to herself has seemed to dissipate some of her earlier stress. She glances over to me every few minutes and looks as if she's going to say something then changes her mind. She does it again and I can't help but ask.

"What?" I say.

She looks at me perplexed, "What?"

"What's on your mind?" I say taking my eye off the road briefly to look at her.

"Not much really. How was your afternoon?" she says.

"Good and yours?"

"Productive, I got everything done." She pauses for a moment then continues. "I met the new tenants a floor down. Well I met one of them, the wife."

"The ones that renovated the apartment below us?" I am so glad that project ended a month ago. Sometimes the noise was ridiculous.

"Yes, she is very nice and seems intelligent. Her name is Lillian. She and her husband moved here from Denver. He's an attorney of all things." She smiles over to me then turns her gaze back to the road.

"Good, and what does she do?"

"We didn't have much time to talk while we waited for the elevator, but she runs an organization to help orphaned children here in the U.S. and in other parts of the world."

"Wow that's very…"

"Ambitious." She says.

"Well I was going to say saint like, but ambitious is probably more appropriate."

She chuckles. "Well I like her, and we seemed to hit it off you know in the whole five minutes we had to talk."

"Good, you should have lunch one day. Or invite her and her husband over one night."

"I think I will!" she responds. I know Alicia is happy, but I also know that making friends here has not been easy for her. While she gets along just fine with the women at work they still all view her as their boss. Between working long hours before the baby and being home bound since the pregnancy began she hasn't exactly had an opportunity to meet many people. This is part of the reason she leaves me with the baby every Saturday afternoon to get out and do something for her. She has met a few people, but there hasn't been anyone she's said more than two words to me about. So the fact that she had a five minute discussion with this woman, and cared enough to tell me about it is a good sign. It's even better that this Lillian happens to live in the same building.

"Did she say what firm her husband works for?"

"No, just that it was a great firm because it wasn't a typical New York sweat shop law firm. She said the work load was still large, but that everyone seemed to work more as a team. There was more cohesion and unity within the firm."

"Sounds like a place we should be working!" I muse. "Did you tell her we were lawyers?"

"I did, and that didn't seem to scare her away!" We both laugh as I turn into the parking lot of the venue.

When Alicia and I moved here we held a summer social for the firm in an effort to allow everyone to get to know us better. We invited significant others and families for those who had them, to come as well. We wanted our employees to know we weren't just two big-wigs who were moving in to take over. It was such a success and we got so many compliments on it in the following weeks that we decided to make it an annual event. This outdoor venue is perfect. There is plenty of shade, the food is good, and there is lots of room for the handful of children our employees have, to play. In fact the number of employees we have with children has increased in the last year since we decided to open a firm daycare. It's something that's nearly unheard of here. But it has brought us some very good stable attorneys including an increased number of female attorneys. The daycare is our backup plan for when the nanny needs some time off, or happens to get sick.

Later in the evening I'm talking with a few associates including one of our newest attorneys Dave, who also has a love of baseball, and happens to be a really sharp lawyer. Alicia is across the lawn chatting with some of the other women when Mira begins to cry. I gently rock her attempting to calm her, but no such luck. Out of nowhere a slim brunette woman comes up behind Dave and entwines her arm around his. This must be his wife. She in many ways reminds me of Alicia simply because of the way she holds herself and her ability to look good with a minimal amount of makeup on.

"Will this is my wife." Dave says. I'm about to ask her name, but Mira begins to wail. She's getting tired, and the crowd has probably been somewhat over-stimulating for her.

"May I?" the brunette asks with outstretched arms.

"Sure," I respond, without a second thought and hand Mira over. I would normally never let a complete stranger hold her, but something about this woman makes you trust her as soon as you meet her. As soon as Mira's in her arms the brunette begins to talk to her, and wraps Mira's blanket securely around her. She seems to be a natural with babies. But it's no surprise. I seem to recall the couple having two of their own, although there hasn't been any evidence of that tonight.

Mira calms just a few short moments later. I hadn't noticed Alicia coming over and she takes my arm. "Do you need me to take her for awhile?" I miss Alicia at work, but it's at moments like this when she's only been across the room or manicured lawn, as is the case, that I realize how much I love having her right next to me. She looks confused when she doesn't see Mira in my arms, and then realizes the woman that has her back turned to her is holding the baby.

"No, I think she's in good hands," I say, placing a gentle kiss on her head as I wrap my arm around her. I intend for her to be within arms reach of me for the rest of the evening. The woman turns around and she and Alicia both look surprised.

"Alicia! I didn't realize," both women giggle and Dave and I are at a loss for what's going on. "You're Alicia _Gardner_ aren't you?" the brunette says, shaking her head.

"Yes, I am!" Alicia says with a smile, and then turns to me. "Will, this is Lillian. And this must be her husband that works for that great firm!" I put the pieces together as Alicia holds out her hand to Dave.

"Hi, I'm Dave. You must be the Alicia my wife ran into today waiting for the elevator."

We all chat for awhile and move to a nearby table. An hour later Mira is sleeping peacefully still in Lillian's arms. We offered several times to take her back, but Lillian insisted it was fine. This woman really is a saint I can only imagine the effect she has on the orphans she's told us about from her trip's overseas in the past two years. The way Mira has responded to her makes me think she is probably a wonderful mother.

"I seem to remember you saying you have children. How old are they?" I ask.

Alicia places her hand on my leg. "You don't have any do you?" she asks. Lillian briefly looks down at Mira and bites her lip, and then turns back with a gentle smile. I can tell by the look on the couples faces that we stepped into a sticky topic.

"We had two." Dave says to clarify, and then puts his arm around his wife. "Three years ago we were driving home from a family ski outing. The roads were slick and a drunk driver lost control of his vehicle and slid into us. Lillian was in a coma for three weeks, our eight year old was killed instantly and our ten year old died a few days later." How do you even respond to a story like that? I can't even imagine living through something like that. This woman really is a saint doing what she does now.

Alicia tightens her grip on my hand. "I am so sorry. That must have been very difficult to get through." she says.

Lillian smiles again. "It was, but we pulled through it. That is one of the main reasons I started my organization. If I couldn't love and nurture my own children anymore there were certainly a large number of children out there I could try to keep warm, fed and safe."

What could have remained as an awkward situation was quite the opposite. These two have turned their tragedy into something good, and were more than willing to discuss it openly. I even add that Alicia and Lillian can compare notes on being in a coma.

A few minutes later Lillian looks down at Mira. "Have you found a nanny yet?" she asks. "You're going back to work in a few weeks right?" she says, looking at Alicia.

"Yes I am, and no, not yet," Alicia says turning to me and giving me the eye. "It seems we can't agree on one," she smirks, but seems content to continue to hold my hand. .

"Well I have someone you two should meet."

"Really?" Alicia says.

"Yes, she has lots of experience with children! Her name is Hannah. She's one of my volunteers, and has spent the past three year's over-seas in various orphanages as a volunteer care giver. She came back to the states a month ago, and is looking for paid work. She has a master's degree in family and child development. Agencies all over the nation would hire her in a heartbeat, because of some of the programs she set up in other countries, but she doesn't want an administrative position. She would rather work one on one with children. She even told me the other day she thought a nanny position would be perfect if the parent's were open to her continuing her volunteer work with me. She conducts weekly story time hours and holds other activities for children in shelters."

Alicia and I briefly glance at each other. No words need to be exchanged. We both think this might be a good option. "Is it safe?" I ask. " I mean if we did like her and if she were to take Mira with her on her volunteering excursions I would want to know that Mira would be safe."

"It's very safe. The shelter's Hannah works at are kept under surveillance, and are not known to the outside world. It's like witness protection for abused and neglected women and their children." She looks from Alicia back to me. "If you like her, but you're worried about Mira I'd be happy to watch her while Hannah's working. Especially while Mira's still so young. My schedule is very flexible!"

I think Alicia and I were both ready to say yes, without having even met this Hannah. But we both did a good job of containing our excitement. "When can we meet her?" Alicia asks.

"Actually, tomorrow if you want, she's living with us right now until she finds her own place." We asked some questions, and Lillian sets up a meeting for us in the morning. It's getting late, and most everyone has left. We say our goodbyes and drive home.

* * *

Alicia crawls into the bed and snuggles up against me laying her head and one arm across my chest. "I hope she sleeps better tonight," she says.

I run my fingers through her hair. "I'm sure she will, and if she wakes up I'll get up with her." Alicia looks up at me and I lean in for kiss.

Awhile later we're both lying awake in the darkness. " Alicia?"

"Hmm?"

"What if I did stay home with Mira when you go back to work?" If I had a camera to capture the look on Alicia's face in the dim light at this moment I would take it. A smile crosses her lips, and she rolls her eyes. She's about to laugh, but then realizes that I might be serious in my statement and her smile quickly dissolves.

"Are you serious?" She lifts herself up onto her elbows so she can fully look at me.

"Not full time and not permanently." I say with a serious grin. "We still need to hire a nanny. But what if I work at the office half the day, and do more work from home like you have been doing, unless I need to be in court? We do offer paternity leave, and I would only do it for six or eight weeks." She continues to stare at me clearly trying to process what I'm suggesting.

"You're serious?" she says.

"Mira will only be little once. Its six weeks out of my career, and a long time in Mira's short life thus far." I lean over and place my hand on her arm. "It's not that strange. Men do this more and more often these days."

She smiles and leans over to kiss me once again placing her hand under my chin. A few moments later she pulls away. "I think it's a good idea, if it's what you want. You're a good father!" She settles back down on my chest and I wrap my arm around her once more.

"Does this mean you'll do the dishes and the laundry for the next eight weeks?" she says with a content smile.

"Sure! But if I'm doing the laundry I get to dress Mira in what ever I want! I might do laundry every day so she'll have a clean uniform to wear every morning!"

This causes a loud burst of laughter from her. "If you're doing the laundry you can dress her how ever you like!"

 **A/N** **;** **For those of you who read Two Realities this chapter is the means by which Will and Alicia became involved in all of the charity work they were recognized for one of the final chapters of that story. This chapter is dedicated to a family in my area who had a similar tragic** **experience** **to Dave and Lillian** **'** **s last winter. I** **'** **ve waited nearly eight months to finally get this one down on paper! So a huge thanks to all of you readers, and reviewers who have continu8ed to encourage and support my writing of this and my other stories. It** **'** **s nice to see things I planned on months ago come to fruition!**


	6. Third Anniversary

**A/N; Here's a little Wilicia fluff for the new year! Thank you all again for the support of my stories!  
**

 _ **August 2018**_

I'm exhausted! No, I'm beyond exhausted. I should go to bed, but there is so much work to do on this case. We need to win this suit against our client or they may think about going to Nelson and Drake, the newest up and coming young firm that's stealing clients left and right from everyone in town. It was bound to happen, and we can't really complain. Will and Diane did the same thing four years ago when they entered the New York market. But this insurance company is one of the largest in the country, and it would hurt to lose them as clients.

I glance briefly through the French doors of our home office into the living room. The allure of resting my head, just for five minutes, on the couch in the soft glow of the dim lamp light, is very appealing. Even more appealing, I think as my eyes wander down the hall to Mira's room, would be to go and wake her just for a minute, and spend some time with her. I'm likely the only one that would get any pleasure out of such a thing. Mira would probably fuss, and Will would probably kill me. Apparently it was quite the battle to get her down tonight, or so he told me when I walked through the front door three hours ago.

I sigh turning my attention back to the laptop and task at hand, when Will enters the room. I don't look up, I can imagine his tousled hair, which brings a smile to my lips as he moves behind me placing his hands on my shoulders and begins to massage them.

"Come to bed," he says, leaning over and kissing my neck.

"I will in just a minute. I'm almost done with this section," I say, continuing to focus on the screen in front of me. I thought this would take an hour, and it's been almost three. He leans over gently placing his hand on mine, forcing the cursor across the screen clicking save.

"Will"

"Come to bed. I'll help you finish this tomorrow." I look over to him, and notice how well he looks. How rested he looks. The past six weeks of paternity leave have been good to him. I sometimes wonder if I used to look so well before going back to work full-time. We stare into one another's eyes for a moment and I relent. I am after all exhausted.

I stand and he takes my hand leading me out of the room. I pause for a moment and turn our course to the bedroom at the other end of the apartment. "The bedroom's this way," he says, trying to pull me in the opposite direction.

I roll my eyes. "I know! I just want to kiss her goodnight. Look at her and make sure I still recognize her!"

"You sound just like I did two months ago," he says, following me down the hall. We both chuckle. "Just don't wake her up. You can see her all you want tomorrow."

I pause at her door and turn to him. "Now who sounds like whom? That's exactly what I used to say to you!" I say with raised brow.

He smiles. "Habits of an old married couple!" he muses. We both chuckle.

"We are not an old married couple!" I argue in a whisper as we enter Mira's room.

"We've known each other long enough to be one!" he counters. I just smile placing a finger to my lips as I turn to stare into the crib at our daughter. It is nice to have this wonderful distraction at the end of a long day. She looks so peaceful and innocent with her arms stretched above her head in the "touchdown" position as Will likes to call it. Sleeping away under her soft blankets, I gently run my fingers through her dark hair admiring her for a moment before we quietly sneak back out of the room.

A few minutes later I practically fall into bed. I don't remember it ever feeling quite so comfortable. I'm half asleep already before Will climbs in next to me and places his arm across me. He has that boyish grin on his face that usually means he's plotting something. "I'm too tired Will."

He chuckles. "I didn't say anything!" he says innocently. "Can't I stare at my wife without being accused of wanting to sleep with her?"

I smile placing a hand to his cheek leaning in for a kiss. "You can stare all you want. But the answer is still no!" He chuckles as I roll onto my side. He moves closer, pressing his warm body next to mine pulling me in. "We need a vacation," I say, closing my eyes.

"Maybe after this case is over we can take a few days," he offers.

"Maybe" I say, drifting off to sleep.

* * *

I take my time getting out of bed and slowly make my way towards the kitchen. I slept well, I think, feeling rested as I pause peering around the corner to watch Will and Mira. However, I'm glad at least one adult in the house seems to be in a good mood, because I certainly am not.

Will is still in his running clothes, which today includes a baseball cap. Mira of course has her small baseball cap on. I don't know how he gets her to keep that thing on. I try and put a sun hat on her when we go out and she takes it off not two minutes after we've left the apartment. She seems to like stroller rides with him when he goes running. He's the one that insisted on a jogging stroller when we were looking, so he could take her with him.

They appear to be mid meal, or maybe mid snack. I notice it's nearly ten in the morning peering at the clock on the wall. It's adorable to watch him feed her. She started eating solids a few weeks ago. It's amusing to watch him try and feed her something she doesn't like. She purses her lips together and turns her head away. Then he gets all lawyerly on her, giving her logical explanations as to why she should eat what ever it is he thinks she should. Even if it is only rice cereal mixed with the fruit or vegetable of the day.

I enter the kitchen and open the refrigerator expecting it to be nearly empty, but am surprised to find it fully stocked. I haven't been to the market in at least a week. "Will, why did you send Hannah to the market? I told you I'd go today!" I ask pulling the juice out, placing it on the counter.

"Ouch" he says standing from the chair in front of Mira, pretending to stab himself in the heart. "Mira and I went this morning." he says proudly placing a kiss on my lips.

"How long have you two been up?"

"It is ten in the morning, Licia!" he says jokingly. I gently slap his arm rolling my eyes.

"I'm aware. Why did you let me sleep so late? I have work to do." It comes out with a hint of annoyance that I hadn't intended. He turns his attention to our daughter.

"Mommy's a little grumpy this morning. Maybe our pancakes will help improve her mood!" I watch as he moves past me and pulls a plate from the oven, piled high with his famous pancakes. He holds it at eye level in front of me. "Take two of these, and see if you feel better in a few minutes!"

I smile taking the plate from him setting it on the counter. "Thank you! And I'm sorry I snapped at you."

He smiles, goes back to Mira's highchair, and begins to get her out. "Hey where are you two going?" I ask.

"I was going to take her to her room, and let you eat a quiet meal. Her diaper needs changing anyway," he says innocently.

"I don't want to eat alone. I've hardly seen you all week, and I haven't seen her awake since last weekend. I'd rather eat with you." He agrees and sits, holding Mira on his lap.

* * *

I find myself back in the home office a few hours later. My eyes wander once again to the front room where Will and Mira are playing together. Playtime begins with her in her bumble seat, and him holding different toys out to her while he glances between her and the game. Awhile later he plays peek-a-boo with her, which really gets her giggling! Then he builds towers in front of her with her soft blocks. He seems to get just as much pleasure out of her knocking them down as she does! Sometime later he's lifting her in the air above him on the couch pretending she's a plane. Her giggles are much stronger when he does this. An hour later he reads her a few books, and she falls asleep on his chest. I love watching her sleep on him. Although I begin to wonder if she's slept in her bed for her afternoon nap the entire time he's been on paternity leave. No wonder he looks so rested. He probably takes a nap with her every afternoon! I shake my head and realize why she hasn't wanted to fall asleep in her own bed the past few nights when he's gone to put her down. She's figured out that daddy is much more comfortable! He and I will have to have a discussion about naptime, but not today. The contentment in both of them at this moment isn't worth any discussing.

A while later, he joins me in the office, and we work together on this insurance case for the next several hours until the early evening. Mira's been content in her swing for the past little while, but is getting fussing. I turn to her, "Mommy feels the same way sweetie! It's time to be done with work for the day!" I stand and take her out of the swing.

"Let's take her to Central Park and walk for awhile, and then catch a bite to eat." I offer as we attempt to put the office back into order. He doesn't say anything and looks at his watch. Before I have a chance to question him on his unenthusiastic response to my request, there's a knock at the door, Will goes around the corner to answer it. A few moments later I look up to see who our guest is, and find Hannah standing in the front room with Will.

"Hannah, how are you?" I say moving into the front room and stand next to Will.

"I'm good Alicia."

I notice her eyeing Will for further explanation as to why she's here, so I turn my attention to him. "Hannah is here to stay with Mira."

I look at him confused. "But why? We don't have any plans tonight."

He turns to me holding the same look in his eyes that he held last night. "Yes, we do!" he says with a gentle smile. "Overnight plans to celebrate our anniversary!"

I'm so surprised I just stare at him processing the words. "But Will, our anniversary isn't until Wednesday, and we have a reservation at that restaurant."

He chuckles, "I changed the reservation to tonight, and reserved a hotel room for us. We both need a break, and we weren't going to get much of one in the middle of the week."

"I..." I'm at a loss for words. I'm actually dying with enthusiasm for the sudden change in our evening plans, even though I'm surely not showing it outwardly. I wondered a month ago when I brought the topic of our anniversary up, if he wouldn't try to pull something like this. With Mira so small, it didn't make sense to try and travel somewhere this year for the anniversary. I told him we could just eat out at a nice restaurant, and spend a romantic evening at home together after Mira went to bed. But he's told me from the day we were married that he intended to make the passing of each year of our marriage an event, something to be remembered and recognized. I thought I had convinced him to pass on the dramatics for this year, but apparently I was wrong. I'm thrilled actually!

Caught up in thought, I realize I've stood motionless without saying anything for too long when he begins to speak again. "Alicia, work can wait," he says, putting his arms around me. "Hannah's going to stay here tonight with Mira. Now check the overnight bag, and make sure I haven't forgotten to pack something you need!" I smile giving him a quick peck on the lips. Of course he's already packed for the both of us! This man has too much time on his hands these days.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later we pull up to the hotel that holds with it some of my fondest memories of this city we now call home. Our first stay here seems so long ago, but the memories of that trip will forever be recalled from the forefront of my mind. I can't believe it's been seven years since we were here, and for the first time since Georgetown, allowed to freely and openly act on our feelings for one another. It may have only been for three days, but it was three days of near bliss.

I inhale thinking about how those memories were shattered and used as weapons a few short years later. Thankfullym three and half years ago, those memories were replaced once again with shared moments that would bind us together forever.

"I hope this will do," he says looking over to me with concern. I'm sure he caught the distant look that must be evident in my eyes.

"It's perfect!" I say leaning over to give him a kiss. We get to the door of the familiar room "our room" we joke, since this will be our third stay in the same familiar space with the balcony, and perfect view of the city. I shake my head and laugh under my breath as he opens the door and I walk over to the large doors that lead to the balcony. "Do you think they will ever change the decor? I guess it wouldn't matter, the unbelievable view would remain the same."

He sets the luggage down, and comes to stand behind me placing his arms securely around me. "It makes no difference to me. I'll always have the best view to admire, even if they put up a huge brick building next door blocking the view," he says, turning me around to face him. "You're the only view I'll ever need."

He didn't forget my earlier request for a walk in Central Park. We spend some time walking the paths hand in hand, talking and observing the other Saturday evening park goers. We find a bench under a shady tree and I lean my head on his shoulder. This free time together without responsibility is heavenly. I wouldn't change a thing in our current lives, the baby, a successful firm, and worry over the two young adults away at college that I still call my babies. But it would be a lie if I said I wasn't overerly enthusiastic about the fact that for the next twenty hours I don't have to do a single thing I don't want too! We can do whatever we want, for how ever long we want tonight and not suffer any consequences tomorrow.

We sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes. "Do you think she'll be all right without us for the night?" he asks. I smile inwardly at his obvious concern for our daughter. I sometimes forget that this whole parenting thing is new for him. This is after all our first time to leave her for the entire night.

"Yes, she will be fine!" I reassure him with a gentle pat on his chest. "And if for some reason she isn't, Hannah will call." I smile up at him and kiss his cheek. "Now come on, the night is young, and we have a dinner reservation to get to."

We make our way back to the hotel and change into appropriate dinner attire. I walk out of the bedroom in one of his favorite dark red dresses, only to be met with a passionate kiss and a bouquet of bright red summer lilies. "Happy anniversary!" he says, after pulling away from the kiss.

"Happy anniversary to you!" I respond, taking the flowers from him. I inhale their sweet scent, and set them down on the coffee table.

He puts his arms around me again. "We could just stay here and order room service! We know the food is good!" he says leaning in placing a few soft kisses on my neck.

I inhale at the touch of his lips against my skin. I could easily be persuaded to stay here. There is something alluring about being in a hotel room together. But I'm not about to let him know how easily he could win this discussion. I really do want to try out this restaurant we're headed too. "Patience Mr. Gardner! You promised me a night out. I intend to get it!"

He stops his kisses resting his head on top of my shoulder for a moment before looking up at me. "And get it you will! Let's go!" he says taking my hand leading me towards the door.

This high-end restaurant has been on my list since we came to New York. I'm not disappointed at our choice. The setting is perfect. It's crowded yet intimate at the same time. There's music in the background, not to loud, not to soft. The wine list is extensive and the food made to perfection.

I sit back in my seat feeling like a wife instead of just a mother of an infant, and overworked lawyer, staring at Will as he pays our bill. He never seems to notice when waitresses try to hit on him. He looks good, very good, I would agree with all of the lingering looks given in his direction tonight. But one of these days I'll not be so polite to one of these women and point out that he is wearing a ring; a ring that I gave him. I chuckle to myself because I know that half of these prying eyed women are attempting to undress him in their minds. I get a great sense of satisfaction knowing that I'm the only one that really gets to do the undressing. I've grown somewhat possessive of him in these sorts of situations. Maybe because of what happened with Peter, and the fact that those memories play so close to the forefront of my mind sometimes. I don't worry that Will would ever cheat on me, but honestly, sometimes I want to reach out and slap the women whose eyes linger on him a little to long.

"What's so funny?" he asks, his attention turned back to me.

"I'm just thinking of all the mean things I want to do to that waitress for hitting on you!" I say as I stand from the table. He chuckles as he takes my hand and we head towards the exit.

"You don't have anything to worry about!" he says quietly. "I'm the one who should be worried. Nearly every male in the restaurant has looked you up and down at least once tonight!"

I can't help but laugh. "No!"

"Yes! Men envy me! I have the most beautiful wife in the city!" I roll my eyes as we laugh together.

Our next stop is a Broadway play. Neither of us saw many shows before we moved here. Every so often, but being surrounded by such talent and variety in one place is contagious. So when time allows every few months, we try to see a show. It's our attempt to try and become more "cultured" or "sophisticated" as Diane would say. We both get a big kick out of the notion, because neither one of us would consider ourselves to be sophisticated anywhere near the level that Diane is at.

* * *

Hours later we find ourselves tangled together wrapped up in bed-sheets enjoying the view from the balcony. "This view will never get old."

"It is one of the best in the city!" he replies. Leaning in, he kisses the back of my bare neck as I take another drink of champagne. "I have something for you!" he says untangling himself returning indoors for a moment. I smile wondering what it is he's come up with this year as my anniversary gift. He's very particular as to the symbol for each year of marriage.

He returns with a silver wrapped box and settles in behind me once again wrapping his arms around me. "The symbol for the third year is leather," he says, as I untie the bow and remove the paper from the box. I lift the lid to find a beautiful, dark leather bound book. It's tied together with thin leather straps at the middle and the date of our wedding, _8/8/2015_ , inscribed on the front cover. I look up at his loving smile for a hint at its purpose. "Open it," he urges me on. I untie the straps and open its scalloped edged pages to find that it's an anniversary memory book. There's a place to record memories and thoughts of each passing anniversary, along with a few places to put photos. I notice he's already placed a few photos from our first and second anniversaries, as well as added a summary of some of our travels from those two occasions.

"Will it's beautiful!" I say turning the pages running my fingers over the photos. We spend a few minutes reminiscing over some of the many sights we saw at our destinations. It almost seems like an eternity ago. I notice there is room for enough entries up to our sixtieth anniversary. Although we won't live long enough to ever see that day, we'd both be well past one-hundred by then. The symbolism in his choosing something that represents a long life together needs no words to explain.

My eyes are suddenly filled with tears, and he looks concerned. I have these past five months, without him knowing, still been living with a sense of fear that everything, all that we have, will be taken from us. I still worry that I'll go to bed one night and not ever wake up. Or go to work and never come home. The trauma of all we've gone through over the past year has taken its toll on my psyche, and at least ten years off of my life.

"Hey what's wrong?" he asks, brushing a stray tear from cheek.

"Nothing. I'm just so happy to be here in your arms able to imagine a long future ahead of us." His concerned look is replaced with a gentle smile. And honestly in saying those words to him out loud, I finally start to feel some peace where my anxiety has been imprisoned for so long. He leans in for another passionate kiss, which will likely continue our long evening of passion.

* * *

The following evening I remove from the drawer of the nightstand, the letters I wrote to the people I love the most, nearly six months ago. I've kept them there, honestly out of fear that Will and the kids would still have need to open and read them at some point. I gently place them in the box that holds a few other letters from Will. I replace the lid and return the box to its place on the top shelf of our closet, as Will enters the room. I turn and smile at him making my way back to the bed. I take the leather bound book and place it in the drawer that up until just moments ago, held within it some of my biggest fears.

We climb into bed next to one another and I snuggle into his embrace. "Thank you for a wonderful weekend!" I say gazing into his loving eyes.

"You're welcome! We're still going out on Wednesday right?" he asks.

I laugh turning my body to fully face his. "Yes, but I can't promise it will be as exciting as last night!"

"We can try and make it as exciting as last night!" he says, with that plotting grin spread across his lips.

"Yes, says the man on paternity leave, who only has to work a half day Thursday! You better live it up these next two weeks Mr. Gardner, because when you go back to work full-time, your partner has every intention of making this insurance case your problem instead of hers!" I tease laying my head on his chest.

"Nah, I know how to negotiate my way out of that one!"


	7. Valentine

**A/N; There is no excuse for how long it's been in posting to this story. Thank you all to whoever is still with me on this one! There is no cliff-hanger at the end of this chapter, but this chapter and the next few occur closely in time together, and will be related to each other in plot because I can't seem to write anything without putting Alicia or Will into dire circumstances!**

 _ **February 2019**_

I enter the apartment and set my briefcase down by the entry table. The familiar aroma of Alicia's chicken orzo soup, and fresh baked rolls fills the apartment. Not finding Alicia or Mira in the main part of the apartment, I head down the hall removing my tie. A new scent, lavender and baby wash, fills the air. It must have been bath night for the little munchkin. I pause just outside Mira's room and listen. Alicia is singing her a few bedtime lullabies. I get into trouble if she catches me listening, because she thinks she has a horrible singing voice. I disagree, partially because no mother singing to her child could sound horrible. And while she will never make a career out of singing, she isn't as bad as she thinks she is.

She finishes the last lullaby, and I open the door further to enter. She turns and looks at me with, a smile across her lips as she lays Mira in her bed. I walk over to the crib, and kiss Mira on the head, and run a quick hand through the short mess of soft dark curls.

Alicia takes my hand and we go back to the kitchen where she warms some food for the two of us. "You didn't have to wait for me," I say, as she sits on the barstool next to me.

"I'd almost given up on you. What happened to one more hour, and then I'll be home?" She gives me an understanding wink, but raises her brow anyway.

"It took longer than I thought to get everything ready." We have a tough case going to trial tomorrow. Everything in front of us would suggest we have the upper hand, but for some reason I can't help but think there is more to this case than meets the eye. I turn my attention to the food in front of me, and try to forget about work for awhile. This is the perfect meal for a cold, snowy, February night.

"Zach and Grace want to come home for Mira's birthday next month. It falls during their spring break. They wanted to know if we had plans," she says, pouring herself some more wine.

"That would be good! We can celebrate together. And Mira loves them! She gets their undivided attention when they're here, and maybe we could give Hannah a few days off." They were here for a few days over their winter break, and I don't think Mira had to crawl around to get to anything during the five days. One thing this child will never be starved for is love and attention.

Alicia chuckles. I have no idea what she found so funny in my comment. "What?"

She shakes her head, taking a sip of her wine. "Your mother also called me today." She looks at me as if I'm supposed understand what's so funny.

"And?"

"She wanted to know if we had plans! And three hours later, my mother called." She raises her brow.

I now understand what's so funny, and it isn't the first time that our extended family has collaborated behind our backs. "So who's the instigator? Which one of them called the others, because they're worried we won't do a sufficient job of celebrating?"

"My money is on Grace," Alicia says, as she stands to clear the dishes. "Peter and I were out of town at a wedding on her first birthday. Never mind the fact that we celebrated two days later, and made a huge deal of it." She rolls her eyes. "That was one of those things that Peter and I should have kept to ourselves. She's held it over my head ever since Peter told her about it when she was ten years old. She's obviously making it her mission to make sure that you and I don't commit the same crime against her sister!"

I can't help but laugh. "How much do you want to bet Sara and Aubrey will call in the next few days?"

Alicia chuckles. "I have a missed call from Aubrey!"

"So your plan to let Mira unwrap a few empty boxes, and eat a cupcake, which you know will make a huge mess, isn't going to cut it!" I move around the counter, and wrap my arms around her waist.

"No! And don't pretend you're not thrilled - Mr. we have to get her a whole cake, and blow up a million balloons!"

"Her birthday will always be reason for celebration for two reasons. It marks each year she is older, and another year I didn't have to spend without you!" I lean in and catch her lips in a loving kiss.

We pull apart, and she has a seductive look in her eyes. "So do you have plans for tomorrow?"

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, "You'll just have to wait and see! Maybe I haven't planned anything!"

I can tell she's doing everything she can to hold in her laughter. "You, the most romantic man on this planet, don't have plans? Not even one small, itty bitty plan?" She looks at me with complete skepticism.

"I thought I'd leave it to you to be the romantic one this year!" I let go of her and head towards the bedroom. She follows right behind.

"I don't believe you. You don't have even one single flower hidden in this apartment, at the office, or an order to a florist?"

I turn to face her once we reach the bedroom. "Even if I had planned something why would you assume it was flowers? It couldn't be because you love getting flowers from me could it?" She has a sheepish look on her face. "And I thought about what you said a few weeks ago."

"What was that?"

"That flowers and chocolate for Valentine's Day seems superficial. That you should give flowers to someone for a real reason, not just because the calendar thinks it's a good idea." I turn around and head into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

She takes my words under consideration. "Good," she states, following me. I watch her brush her teeth, and can tell she may be regretting her own words now. Of course I have something planned. I didn't believe for one minute she didn't expect me to do something for the holiday.

We crawl into bed together a few minutes later. "Are you planning on following your own advice?" I ask as she moves closer to me.

"I'll say the same thing to you. You'll just have to wait and see!" She leans in and kisses my cheek before resting her head on the pillow.

* * *

The first day of a trial is always hectic. Not just because we have to get into a routine with the judge, and opposing council. But when Alicia and I work on the same case, we both have to get out the door in morning on time, and court always involves a stop by the office first. We always have plenty of time, but Alicia gets pretty uptight on these particular mornings.

Even though she would never admit it to anyone, I think she still gets a little nervous before a new trial. Before we lived together I would have said otherwise. Every time she showed up for court she seemed calm, and collected. Little did I know that her morning routine before day one of trial had a very specific plan to be executed. Every step is to be followed without deviation. The first time it happened I thought it was ridiculous. Now I just run with it. It's not worth a marital argument.

On these mornings I don't try to keep her in bed for five extra minutes to shower her with a few more kisses. I take my peck on the cheek before she gets out of bed to shower. There is a place in our closet that she keeps her, "court clothes" not that she couldn't wear any of her work clothes to court. She switches this section out quite frequently, but I think she just doesn't want the added distraction of worrying about what she's going to wear when her mind is busy going over her opening argument.

Things become almost mechanical with her, from the very little bit of conversation we have in the morning, to her instructing me to feed Mira, even though I'd just finished that little task five minutes prior to her asking me to do it. Hannah gets here right on time, and Alicia checks her watch for the tenth time before giving her very specific instructions for Mira, as if Hannah doesn't already know everything she's just been told to do!

Hannah turns to me when Alicia heads back to the bedroom to grab a scarf. "First day of court?" I don't even have to answer with more than a nod in the affirmative and a smile.

Alicia and I kiss Mira goodbye, who has pulled herself to a standing position against the couch. We head for the door, but stop and look at each other when we hear Mira. This time I swear it wasn't her usual babble that we get every morning before we leave. We move back towards the couch. We have just deviated from the plan. Both Alicia and I look at each other questioning if we heard right.

"Did she just say...!" A huge grin spreads across her face before taking a few deep breaths, because she knows we will only have a matter of minutes when we get to the office now. There is no way I'm leaving here until I hear Mira say it again.

"Dada!" I respond, and hurry over to Mira. I crouch on the floor next to her, a confused look on her tiny little face. The same tilt of her lips upwards that's an exact replica of Alicia's. "Say it again," I encourage her. "Say Dada!" I don't look up to Alicia and Hannah, whom I'm certain have exchanged smiles that mean nothing but how completely adorable they think this is. A grown man who has stopped life for a moment, to hear his daughter say her first word again.

Mira lifts her tiny hand and pats my nose as the word falls from her mouth again. "Dada!" A very pleased smile forms across her lips after she says it.

"Good girl!" I say, lifting her into my arms, giving her a hug and a kiss. I hand her over to Hannah. "Keep practicing that today!" I encourage. Then Alicia and I head for the door again.

"Wave bye bye!" Hannah says, and I turn my head to Mira one last time to see her tiny hand moving in an up and down manner.

I can't help but smile the entire time we're on the train. We decided to take the subway today because of the snow. Traffic would have been a nightmare. "No rubbing it in!" Alicia whispers in my ear, as we get to our stop.

I look at her with feigned hurt. "Rub what in?" I say, as we exit the train.

"The fact that she said Dada, before she said mama," she says, lacing her arm through mine.

"Rub it in? Why would you think I'd do such a thing? I'm certain she'll figure out how to say mama in a few days - or weeks - or..." I laugh when she reaches up and slaps my chest with her other arm.

"Stop it! I'm trying to focus on the case, and it's nearly impossible with your banter."

I chuckle. "One day you'll admit that voie-dire, makes you nervous."

She stops outside our building and places her hands on her hips. "It does not make me nervous. And if you don't stop it, you won't get your Valentine surprise later!" She raises a stern brow at me.

* * *

I'm certain she put this particular pair of earrings on with purpose this morning, and it makes me smile, as I watch her gather her last thoughts before court begins. I bought the diamond earnings for her last Valentine's Day. They cost what she would call a small fortune. But she was miserable last year, and I wanted to spoil her, try to cheer her up. She'd grown so weak by then with the pregnancy. Only a week later we were in the hospital again - another false labor scare. So the earnings were - well part of my race against him time. Part of me felt like I had to do everything I'd ever wanted to for her, if those were to be some of the last months we spent together. Sometimes I miss the hours we spent in bed together during those last few weeks before Mira came. I would never go back to the wreck I'd become inside during that time, but I miss the slower pace of work, and spending each moment together as though it were the last.

Alicia does not care much for the judge we're arguing in front of. And he doesn't seem to have a particular liking for her either. I offered to take first chair so she wouldn't have to argue in front of him so much, but she's out to prove a point with him. That no matter what he may think, she can still win cases.

After court we head back to the office to run through a few things with our team. "Do you think we missed something in depositions?" she asks, as we enter the building.

"I don't know, but it sure seems like it. I'm not so sure our client is innocent anymore," I say, honestly. This has not been an easy case, and while the evidence we had been presented with prior to trial seems solid, something seemed off in court.

"I have the same feeling," she says, as we enter the elevator. "Thank you for remembering the no flowers in court rule."

Two years ago on this particular holiday, I made the mistake of having flowers delivered to her at the courthouse. It was not one of our better moments. But two days later I caught her admiring them on the table in her office, and she had to admit she loved them. I'm sure the only reason she's bringing it up now, is that she thinks there will be some flowers waiting for her when she gets to her office.

I watch her enter her office and look around. No flowers before work, no flowers waiting in her office now. She looks back towards the door with a curious smile. I turn and walk the ten feet into my own office, and can't help but chuckle. She thinks she's doing a good job of not caring, but I see right through that woman!

We meet with our team, and decide we need to go back and look at everything. Maybe even take a different angle. We thought, and still think, our client is innocent on the fraud charges he's being prosecuted for. But after seeing the few additions to the prosecutions witness list today, we think they may be going after something else. It's times like these where I wish Kalinda were working here, instead of in Chicago. We have a couple of good investigators, but Kalinda always seemed to be able to figure things out before we ever knew we even needed them figured out.

After our meeting, I go back to my office. Alicia excused herself from the meeting about fifteen minutes ago. Her office is dark now. I notice a note on my desk with her hand writing on it.

 _I've made dinner plans! See you at home in two hours!  
_  
Now I understand why she asked me to help one of the new associates on a case. She needs time to prepare for what ever it is she has planned.

* * *

A wonderful aroma fills the apartment as I enter. I pass by the dining room, and notice the table has been set - for two! We don't often eat in there. The smaller table in the kitchen area, or the bar stools are more appropriate for our usual casual meals. I head towards the family room following the sound of Mira laughing.

"Look whose home baby!" Alicia lifts Mira from her lap, turning her so she can see me. Her resemblance to Alicia is staggering when they're next to each other. I move to the couch and sit next to them. I pull from behind my back the bouquet of soft, multi-colored fabric flowers, with smiley faces at the center, I bought for Mira a few weeks ago.

"And look what daddy brought for you!" I hold them out to her. She scrutinizes them for a few moments before reaching out and taking one from me. Alicia looks over to me with a gentle smile, but I can see in her eyes she's wondering where her bouquet is. For someone who says she doesn't really care about such things on holidays, I get the sense she might care just a bit!

"Dada!" Mira says, hitting me with the bright pink flower in her hand.

"Looks like your two hours to teach her how to say mama, wasn't enough time!" I tease.

Alicia shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "Here, go to Dada," she says, handing Mira over to me. "You might be his only Valentine tonight if he doesn't stop teasing mommy!"

I put Mira to bed awhile later, and when I return to the living room, I find Alicia in a red strapless dress that really accentuates her curves, and the diamond earrings she's still wearing.

"Should I change?" I ask, wrapping my arms around her. "I feel a little under-dressed without a coat and tie."

"No, this is the way I like you!" She leans in for a kiss, and then we go to the dining room to eat.

Not that I ever need to be reminded of Alicia's beauty, but in the dim glow of the candlelight, she manages to take my breath away. And I'm reminded again of just how lucky I am to have her as my wife.

It's fun to go out, but meals at home with just the two of us are more intimate. She takes the lead after dinner to continue her plan for the night. First up, a bubble bath, because it's romantic with the large size tub we have, and the candles she's set all around the bathroom. And let's be honest, there is ten inches of snow outside. I'm sure she's cold!

After some lingering time in the tub, she models a new outfit - of sorts - for me! Of course I can't keep my eyes, or hands off her. I remove it almost as soon as she steps out of the closet with it on - red is definitely a good color on her!

She had planned on a movie for the two of us on the sofa, with the fire going. But lying in bed next to each other, we decide we're both to tired, and we do have court tomorrow. We'll post-pone the movie until the weekend.

She's shown a great amount of restraint today. I keep thinking that at any moment she will ask where her gift, or whatever she thinks I may have planned is, but she never did. We settle under the sheets, her head on my chest.

"I have something for you," I say, as I wrap my arm around her. She looks up into my eyes, only love fills them.

"You do?"

"I do!" I lift my free arm from around her, and pull out an envelope from the drawer of the bed side table.

She takes it from me and opens it up. I don't know what is more fun. Plotting this kind of stuff for her, or watching her reaction when I give it to her. She sits up, a broad grin plastered on her lips. "Will, when?" she asks enthusiastically, placing a hand on my arm as she continues to read through the brochures that occupied the envelope.

"In August!" I say, lifting myself up onto my elbow. She turns and looks at me.

"For the anniversary!" Her excitement is evident.

"Yes!"

Last Valentine's Day as a distraction, I suggested we make a list of all of the places we wanted to go visit at some point. She was hesitant at first, but after a few minutes of hearing about some of the places I wanted to go, she joined in. It went on for about three days as we each kept coming up with new places to explore. We'd pick a place and add it to our list. Then whoever had suggested it, had to give at least one real reason why they wanted to go to that specific place. Then we'd spend some time researching the place deciding what else we would want to do there. I'd forgotten about the list, but I was cleaning out some files in our home office a few weeks ago and came upon it.

One of her first destinations on the list was to spend a few days in Northern California's Napa Valley. So I bought plane tickets, and booked the hotel we'd decided on. As a surprise when we get there, I booked a few wine tasting excursions for us.

"But what about Mira?" She questions, a few minutes later after having looked through the brochure of the hotel she'd wanted to stay in.

"It will only be four days, and Hannah already has it marked on her calendar. And by the way, I'm pretty sure Lillian has already planned a full day of activities to do with Mira herself! The parents leave, and everyone wants to pretend she's their kid for a day, or two! The way those two women reacted when I asked them to watch Mira - we may not get her back when we return!"

She smiles and looks down shyly. "Thank you!" She leans over and kisses me again.

"Does this make up for the lack of flowers?" I ask, as she rests her head on my chest once again.

"Yes, but who said I needed flowers when I have you?"

I laugh under my breath, pulling her in closer.


	8. Premonition

**A/N; This chapter is written from both, Will and Alicia's POV, as indicated. Thank you all for the support on this one! I'll just accept the fact that a few of you reading my other stories will have a few strong words after this one. :}  
**

 _ **March 2019**_

 _ **Alicia**_

I gasp for air, sitting up in bed. A cold sweat has covered my body. My heart is pounding. It has been nearly four years since I've had such visions running through my head during sleep. I vaguely hear the sound of the alarm clock, and Will, who I certainly just started to wake.

He reaches over me, turning off the alarm. Then he places his hand my arm.

"Alicia"

I turn and look at him. Concern in his features is evident, as he moves his hand from my arm to my forehead.

"You're burning up. How do you feel?"

I'm still trying to calm my nerves from the dream, so I don't respond. He looks even more concerned now.

"Alicia, lie back down. You're not going to work today."

I continue to stare at him. Why can't he hear the sirens going off in my head, the red flags being waved all over?

"No, you're the one that needs to stay home today." I insist, turning to get out of bed. He follows me to the bathroom. I can hear the frustration in him before he speaks a single word.

"Alicia, your running a fever. You need to go back to bed." He puts his arms around my waist and turns me towards him.

"I'm not running a fever." I say. At least I don't think I am. "I had a bad dream, a nightmare. You're the one who needs to stay home today." I pull out of his embrace, and move to the shower to get the water running.

"Alicia, let's take your temperature, and if your not running a fever I'll let you go to work." I can see in his eyes he regretted uttering those last words, but I'm on an adrenaline rush right now, and not in the mood to be mothered.

"You'll let me!" I shoot back at him.

"That's not what I meant." He runs a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry what can I do for you?"

"Get out of here, while I shower. I had a bad dream. I need to calm down, and you are not helping with that!"

He must realize this isn't worth an argument because he turns around and leaves the room. Hopefully he'll check on Mira, and make sure Zach and Grace are up to take care of her when we leave for work. Assuming I can't convince him to stay home.

* * *

I sit on the bed to slip my heals on. He may have been right. I am not feeling one-hundred percent today. But I'm not about to let him get away with telling me I can't go to work. Even if that is exactly what I'm about to tell him. I'll take something for this pounding headache, and then maybe things will seem better.

He enters our room and sits next to me, reaching his hand to touch my forehead again. I prevent it from ever reaching its destination. "I am fine."

He looks skeptical, but drops it. "Okay, then tell me about this dream, and why you don't think I should go to work today."

"In the dream you got shot." I look right into his eyes so he can see how serious I think this is.

He places his arm around me. "It was probably a flashback from the shooting. It doesn't mean anything, other than you're probably under to much stress right now."

"No Will. You were in your office, and someone came in and shot you - right in front of me. Do you want to know who the shooter was?"

"Who?"

"Tom Clemmons."

"He's dead. How can he shoot me if he's dead?"

He's right. We were near the end of a trial that began in February. It was drawn out for weeks because the prosecution kept coming up evidence against our client. And to think Will and I thought he was innocent when we took the case on. He had managed to scam a large sum of money out of a lot of people. And some of them were not too happy about it. Even Will and I got a fare amount of hate mail for representing him. He was headed to prison for a long time. But he committed suicide the day before the verdict was to come in.

In the suicide note, he said he would end up dead before he ever got to prison. And that it was better to die on his terms than someone else's. But the past week, since it happened, I have not been able to put it to rest. I still think there's a piece of that puzzle missing. Will keeps telling me we didn't miss anything, other than he was guilty. And that we should put it behind us. Not really helpful there honey.

"He can't shoot you. I just think it's a sign. It's just a premonition I have. Please, just this once would you follow my instinct on this?" I can tell he thinks this is ridiculous, as he probably should. I'm nearly begging him to stay home

He wraps his arm more tightly around me. I rest my head on his shoulder, because my head is pounding, and my body is beginning to crash after the adrenaline rush. He kisses the top of my head. "I still think you have a fever."

"I have a headache. I'm still going to work."

"If you go to work, you have to let me go too. I don't want you feeling worse later, and then you having to get yourself home on your own. Grace will not be happy if you're bed-ridden in three days for Mira's birthday."

I sigh. "Fine, but don't let anyone into your office today. And remember, you have to pick your mom up from the airport at noon."

 _ **Will  
**_  
It took longer than expected to pick mom up from the airport. But everyone seems content at the apartment now. The calm before the storm, when Veronica gets in tomorrow. I like my mother in law, but things always seem to get slightly out of control when she's here.

My thoughts turn back to Alicia and the events of the morning when I round the corner to my office. It has been so long since she's had one of her awful dreams. I'd almost forgotten how hard it is on her. I'm not convinced she isn't coming down with something. I just hope that with all the extra family, and help, in the next few days, she'll take it a little easy so it doesn't turn into something that will leave her in bed for a week.

She seemed to be doing better when I left. Hopefully, the fever and headache was just a fluke. It was probably the fever that brought on the bad dream. I've never seen her be so insistent on something that will never happen. The odds of me getting shot - again - have got to be a million to one.

I sit at my desk, and turn my attention to the brief in front of me. I'm immediately distracted by familiar footsteps, and the faint smell of her perfume entering my office. I love how I can recognize the pattern of her footsteps without even looking at her. She sits in the chair across from my desk before I ever look up.

"How is Joan?" she asks, setting her bottled water on my desk.

"Good! Very happy to see her grandchildren!"

"Stopped paying attention to you when you entered the apartment?" she chuckles.

"More like as son as I had her loaded into the car!" I respond. "All she wanted to talk about was Mira, and Zach's graduation in two months!"

She smiles. "Don't worry. I'll still pay attention to you even if no one else does!"

I'm more grateful for that than she will ever know. "You know, we could probably go away for a few days, and no one would even notice we were gone!"

She raises a brow. "Yes, you get a kid, and no one cares about you or your whereabouts anymore!"

"Mira has all kinds of people to take care of her right now. And we don't have to pay any of them!"

We share a knowing laugh. It's completely out of the question, but its fun to play this fantasy game for a few minutes.

"No one but Grace!" She puts a quick end to that fantasy. "She is the one who instigated this family celebration for her sister. She would never forgive us if we left town."

"Yeah, and she likes me! I should probably try to keep it that way."

"Yes! I have a meeting at two, but should be back by four. Maybe we can leave around six?"

"That should work. I have to get this brief done, but I should be finished by then. Is your headache gone?"

"It was. It's coming back now."

"Maybe you should cancel your meeting, and go home." I suggest. She rolls her eyes as she stands, and turns to exit my office.

"I'm fine. It's just a headache. Don't let anyone into your office while I'm gone Mr. Gardner," she calls, as she enters her office.

I chuckle and focus on the brief in front of me.

 _ **Alicia  
**_  
I hang up my coat and purse, and sit at my desk. The meeting went well, and this small civil suit won't be going to trial. I look over to Will's office. The door is closed. Too many interruptions likely.

"Alicia," my assistant says, as she enters my office. "Will's 4:00 is here, but his door is locked, and he isn't answering his phone

I look at my watch. It's nearly 4:30, and it isn't like Will to lock the door to his office in the middle of the day. "Okay, tell his client it will just be a few more minutes. I'll get Will."

My nerves grow uneasy, and I immediately start to think the worst. _He's probably already dead in there. Stop it Alicia, everything is fine._ I try to buzz him on his phone, but he doesn't pick up. I try to call his cell, he doesn't answer. I grab the key to his office out of my desk and walk over to it, placing the key in the lock. I knock as I open the door and peer in. "Will"

He and three men in dark suits, turn to look at me as I enter the office, closing the door behind me. "Sorry to interrupt, but your 4:00 is here." I grow uneasy, holding my gaze on him. He didn't mention he was meeting with anyone today.

He briefly looks at the three men, then stands and walks over to me. "Alicia, I need you to turn around, leave my office, and take my appointment." The words come out slowly and with a sense of urgency.

I can't figure out what's going on, but I don't like the way the other men in the room are eyeing me. "But Will,"

He places his hands on my arms, and steps closer. "Alicia, don't ask any questions. Just take my 4:30 appointment." He's acting completely strange.

"Is everything all right?" I question.

I look over to the men standing across the room and my heart begins to race as one of them pulls out a gun, and points it at... me. I'm sure my whole body has just turned a shade of ashen gray, and I can barely breathe. I would surely pass out right now if Will wasn't supporting my entire weight.

My eyes dart between the man with the gun and Will. I can feel the lump in my throat threatening tears. Yet, at the same time, I want to scream. My next instinct is to flee, and get help. I pull out of Will's grasp, my feet still unstable, and turn to run out of the office. But one of the other men grabs a hold of me before I make it very far.

"Let her go!" Will says angrily, moving next to me again, and grabbing onto my hand.

"I told you to stay home today," I say, the tears threatening to spill.

"If I had, you'd be here alone."

"What do you want?" I turn my attention to the three men.

"We're just trying to get some information out of your husband here," the one with the guns states.

"What kind of information?" I ask angrily, pushing the tears back down.

"We believe you and your husband know where our boss's money is."

I'm utterly confused. Before I can ask any more questions, Will offers up an explanation. "It turns out our former client, Tom, was holding a significant amount of money for these gentleman's boss. And he wants it back. He seems to think that since we represented Tom, we should know where that money is."

I have no words, and I am terrified. Will and I weren't privy to any of the whereabouts to Tom's money, other than the bank accounts that were brought up in trial. And as far as we knew all the money and assets that were left behind were being dispersed among the various victims.

"Tell your boss, that he will receive a fare portion of the funds being allocated among the victims." I say, trying to be brave.

"See that's the problem Mrs. Gardner, this deal wasn't on the books. And our boss would sure hate for that information to be leaked."

"I already told you, we have no idea where the money is. Tom didn't disclose that information to us," Will says, squeezing my hand.

The man with the gun walks over to us. "Here's how this is going to work. You can tell us now where the money is, or we can take you to our boss. And I guarantee you don't want us to do that."

I can barely breathe. This lunatic has the gun pointed right at Will, my worst nightmare getting closer to reality with every passing second.

"Joe," the gunman calls. One of the other men moves to stand next to him. "Now, where is the money?"

The gun remains pointed at Will. He's gripping my hand "I have no idea. And that's the truth."

I don't know how he can stand there so calm, and speak as though this is just another interaction with an annoying client. My whole body is trembling inside.

The gunman nods at the other man, who then throws a punch right at Will's gut. "No," I plead, as Will hunches over in pain. I can't hold the tears in any longer. I kneel on the floor next to Will who fell back into his leather chair. He looks at me. I can see the pain in his eyes, but he's trying to put on a brave face - for me.

The gunman's phone rings. He answers, and steps across the room.

"Will what's going to happen?" I ask in a desperate whisper, my hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know, but I'm not going to let them hurt you."

"We don't know anything," I say. As if he doesn't know this.

"I know."

The gunman finishes his call and steps back over to us. "That was our boss. He wants to pry the information out of you himself. So all of us are going to walk calmly out of the office, and take the elevator to the entrance level. Then we're going to get into the car that's waiting out front. If either of you try anything as foolish as attempting to run, or signal for help, you'll regret it."

"No," Will says. I think he must be crazy to not do exactly what these creeps want.

"You can take me, but we leave Alicia here."

I turn and look at him in shock. He squeezes my hand tighter. "She can keep her mouth shut. She won't tell anyone about this. But she stays here. Call your boss, and tell him that's the deal, or you shoot both of us now."

A new kind of terror enters my body. I don't want to die. And if their boss agrees, I tremble at the thought of what might happen to Will when he leaves with these goons.

The gunman is frustrated, but pulls out his phone anyway. Will turns to me. "After I leave, call Diane, and ask her how much money we can pull out of the firm."

"You're going to pay these guys?" I can't believe he's thinking this. But I am not thinking clearly at all right now.

"I'll offer it as an alternative, if I can't convince their boss otherwise."

The gunman ends the call. "Okay, but here are the terms. We leave Alicia here. She tells no one, not a single soul about this. If at any point we think the police are looking for Will, he dies." The man holds up the gun for emphasis I suppose. "Is that clear?"

I'm shaking. "Yes"

He holds his angry gaze on me. "Continue on with your day. Go home. Act normal. You'll hear from us later." He holsters the gun. "Let's go."

Will turns to me, placing a gentle hand on my cheek. "I love you!"

"I love you too. But what about Mira? Her birthday? When are you coming home?"

He looks terrified now, and I see the first glimpse of doubt in his features. "It'll be okay. And if it isn't, always tell her I love her." He's ripped briskly from my hands, taking my heart with him as they exit his office.

I feel nauseous. But I have to pull it together. I have to act normal. I can't exit his office in a pool of tears.

* * *

It's nearly two in the morning. I'm sitting in the large accent chair in the front room stroking my fingers through Mira's hair. She's been asleep for hours. But after everyone else went to bed, I couldn't bare to not have her in my arms. I'm probably suffocating her, from holding on so tight. There hasn't been any word from on Will. And I can barely think straight. It took all I had to lie to everyone when I got home, telling them Will had to work late. Zach and Grace seemed content with that answer, but I could tell Will's mother knows something is wrong. Nothing gets past that wonderful woman. And I am so grateful she is here.

I'm startled by the gentle touch to my shoulder, and turn to see Joan standing next to me. "Alicia, what happened? Where is Will? Are you two having trouble?" She sits on the ottoman in front of me, her gentle smile a brief respite from my fear.

"No, Will and I are good - very good!" I smile to try and reassure her, but this woman can see right through me, just like her son. I look down at Mira who is completely out, and oblivious to the storm rushing through her mother.

I look back up at Joan, who is waiting patiently for an explanation. Of all the people in the world, other than Will, I know I can trust this woman, above anyone, to keep a secret. And before I have time to reconsider I tell her the whole story. I see the concern in her features, and it breaks my heart. If I was in her shoes, and we were discussing Zach, I don't know that I would be able to hold the same composure.

I've held the tears in ever since Will walked out of his office. But I can't contain them any longer. "I haven't heard anything. What if he's…" I say, as the tears begin to spill, and my whole body begins to shake.

She moves over to me placing a comforting arm across my shoulders. "He'll be okay," she says, in a tone that almost convinces me.

I look up at her. "I've never been on this side before," I admit. More tears spill from my eyes, a few landing in Mira's hair.

"What side is that?"

"I've never been the one waiting to see if the person that carry's the other half of my heart, is going to live to see the next day. It's always been Will - waiting on me."

I have a new appreciation for the man who waited months for me to come out of a coma, who waited three long nights to see if I could fight off pneumonia, and who just a year ago, waited yet again, to see if he would be left a single parent or not. I cannot imagine how excruciatingly difficult it was for him every single time. I don't know how he survived this kind of agony, because I think I could die at any moment. I now understand why he basically begged me to stay in bed this morning. I'll give his pleadings more credence in the future. Because he's coming home – soon – I can't live thinking anything else.


	9. Negotiations

_**Will**_

I have no idea what time it is. If I had to guess, very early in the morning. I've been sitting here for hours. I'm freezing cold, my hand is likely broken, and my whole body aches. The only thing keeping me sane in this dark, damp, space is the thought of Alicia, and Mira, and the knowledge that they are at home, warm and safe. I don't want to even imagine what would have happened to Alicia if they had forced her to come with us.

Alicia must be beside herself by now. I'm fairly certain my captors haven't tried to contact her yet. She probably thinks I'm dead. We are at least two hours out of the city - I have no idea in which direction. The men put me in the back of a dark van, and blindfolded me when we left the office.

I thought they were taking me to meet their boss at his residence. Turns out they had other plans. We're somewhere in the middle of the woods. They took the blindfold off when we got here so that I could maneuver in the not yet melted snow. My suit coat has been quite insufficient for keeping me warm in this run down cabin.

My original suspicion that these men's boss was somehow connected to the mob was incorrect. What else was I supposed to think living in New York? Mr. Sutton is of the other brand of bad guys - drug dealers. Not unlike mob bosses, however, he leaves the dirty work to his men. After waiting here for a good two hours after we arrived last night, he finally showed up. After twenty minutes of questioning me himself, and not getting any of the answers I assume he wanted, the main one being the whereabouts of his missing money, he had his men use other methods for trying to extract information from me. I'm probably lucky to still be alive, and if I weren't living this, I would have thought this kind of stuff only happened in movies.

I'm not sure if Jack Sutton finally decided I was telling the truth, if he realized that my offer of getting what money I could for him, satisfied him. Or if it was simply my passing out after the last blow to my body that convinced him I really have no idea where his money is. Forty agonizing minutes later they finally left me alone. Not thinking clearly at that particular moment, I begged them to leave Alicia out of this. Mr. Sutton just smiled, and said, "Your wife is beautiful Will. I wouldn't mind getting my hands on her, but I'm not in the business of harming women. Nor am I in the business of leaving an innocent child motherless."

I don't know what bothers me more, the way he talked about Alicia, or the fact that he knows Mira exists. I don't know if his comment means they still intend to kill me or not. I've formulated a plan to further convince Mr. Sutton of my honesty with him. We'll see if I get a chance to tell him or not. For now I feel my body slowing, I just hope I can wake back up out of the sleep that I feel taking over.

 _ **Alicia**_

I am not doing well this morning. I've already broken a coffee mug, and snapped at Grace, in the twenty minutes since I dragged myself out of bed. I would have preferred to remain there, but Mira woke next to me. I couldn't bear to not have her with me the entire night. Her smile and dark brown eyes, just like Will's, are the only thing keeping me from suffocating this morning.

If I keep this behavior up, it won't be long before Grace and Zach figure out something is wrong. To make things worse, it's pouring rain out, and I have a meeting I have to be alert and attentive for in two hours.

My mind wanders, as I bend down to pick Mira up who's found her way to my feet, burning my finger in the process. I curse and rush to the sink. The three adults in the room look at me, somewhat in shock. It's rare I use such language. Will's mother comes over placing a gentle hand on my shoulder, turning the faucet on for me to run my finger under.

"Why don't you go finish getting ready for work? I can finish up breakfast, and I'm sure Grace would be happy to get Mira dressed!" She glances in Grace's direction with a gentle smile.

Grace whole heartedly agrees, and moves around the counter to pick Mira up off the floor who is now in tears because she's hungry, and upset, due to my lack of attention to her. "Grace, I'm sorry I snapped at you," I say, as she passes by me.

"It's okay mom. You probably didn't get much sleep last night with Will coming home late, and leaving so early this morning." She continues towards the hallway with Mira in hand. I'd be a complete wreck if everyone weren't here to help out.

"How's the headache today?" Joan asks, shutting off the water, as Zach moves around us to flip the pancakes.

"Just as bad as yesterday," I admit. "Thank you, for... for being here." I say with a sigh.

"You're welcome, now go get showered and dressed."

/

"I stare at the inside of the closet, trying to avoid Will's half, but it's impossible. I move into the large space, and run a hand over his suit coats – the perfect symbol of our chosen profession. If it's one thing I've learned in all these years of practicing law, it's that the law is a messy thing, and has never made our lives easy. It may be the thing that brought us together, and provided us with a good life, but it's never been easy. In fact it's nearly destroyed out lives a few times - this particular instance being a perfect example. I sigh pulling out some gray slacks, and matching blazer. A black blouse underneath seems the appropriate color for today.

I sit still on the bed after pulling on my heels. I glance at my phone for what must be the millionth time - still no word. With each passing hour, I can feel a part of my heart dying. I feel just as nauseous as I did yesterday, but I know the cause of it today.

A quiet knock comes to the door. I've got to pull it together. "Come in," I say.

Joan enters the room, and sits next to me on the bed.

"Any word?"

"No," respond. I may have to start thinking about the fact that Will may not be coming home. The thought immediately causes tears to spill from my eyes.

"What am I going to do without him?" I manage to say. "I don't think I can go on."

"Alicia, he'll be fine," Joan says, with confidence that I can't even imagine.

"How do you know?" I retort.

"I just know! Give it some more time, and before you know it, he'll be walking through the front door coming home to you and the baby. He won't give up. He loves you both to much to give up."

I place my hand on hers. I wish I had the same amount of confidence in Will's safe return, but my heart is falling to pieces. I have no idea how I'll be able to get any work done today.

"Thank you!" I say, as the tears begin to slow.

"You're welcome! Don't worry about dinner tonight, I'll make a reservation. I thought it would be easier for all of us to go out, especially with Sara, the kids, Aubrey, your mother and brother all getting in today."

I hadn't even thought about it. By tonight nearly all of our family will be here. I'm exhausted thinking about it, but in so many ways thankful they will all be here to distract me in case Will isn't.

"That sounds wonderful!" I say, standing. "I better fix my makeup and head out. Joan, I really appreciate all you're doing. I hope you know that!"

She stands and embraces me. "Alicia, you're just as much my daughter as Sara and Aubrey at this point. I wouldn't think of being anywhere else." She lets go, and leaves me alone again. This affection from my mother-in-law is something that I've had to get used to. It's nice, but so different from the way my own mother handles things, and is certainly different from the way I was usually treated by Jackie.

 _ **Will**_

Someone nudges me awake. Its day now, I can tell from the little bit of light coming in through the boarded windows. It's raining out, perfectly miserable weather. I glance up at the man standing over me. He's one of the men who brought me here yesterday. He offers me some water which I gladly accept.

"I need to talk to Mr. Sutton," I say.

"Lucky for you, he'll be here in a few hours," he replies, standing back up again.

"Will you untie my hands and feet?" I ask. "I'm in a lot of pain. I won't try anything." I stare right into his eyes, in hopes he'll have some mercy on me.

He thinks about it for a few moments, and then must decide I'm not in much condition to run to far should I attempt to escape. He bends over and unties the thick rope. The relief in being able to move a bit more is welcomed.

A few hours later Mr. Sutton appears. "Good news Will, your wife knows how to keep her mouth shut." I glare at him.

"I never doubted she wouldn't. What have you done to Alicia?" I may be in pain, but the mention of Alicia makes me grow angry, and I try to stand. Two men immediately hold me back from lunging right at this man in front of me.

"I didn't do anything to Alicia. I had to make sure she could hold her tongue. So I sent one of my men to your office. By the way, she seemed relieved to know that you were still alive. I decided to take you up on your offer. You pay me a sum I think is worth all my trouble your client caused me, and I'll let you go. In addition, the two of you keep quiet. You know who I am now, and if I get a whiff that the police are after me because of what has taken place in the past twenty hours, I'll come after you again. Do you understand?"

I nod. "Yes"

"Good. My man is waiting with your wife for Diane Lockhart to call her back and tell her how much money the two of you can borrow from the firm. Your wife did an excellent job at lying to Ms. Lockhart. I wasn't sure she had it in her."

"You have no idea what my wife is capable of! You may not trust my explanation about Tom's funds, but I guarantee I'm not trying to pull one over on you. In fact I can guarantee it."

He grins. "Oh really?"

"Do you know Lamond Bishop?" I can tell this question catches him off guard. The grin on his face disappears, and he becomes quite serious.

"I do!" he says, with raised brow. "We have done business in the past."

"Call him. Ask him if I would lie to you." I can see the surprise in his features. He looks away, as though he's coming up with a new plan.

"Alicia and I used to represent him. He's still a client in our Chicago branch. We handle his "legitimate" business." I hold my serious, expression. I don't know if anything will come of my comment. He looks at me once again, and then leaves the room.

Over the next hour I'm given some food, and a chair to sit on. Some time later, we get back into the van that brought us here. My hands tied back up, and face covered. I hope this means we're headed back to Alicia.

 **A/N; I do really appreciate the feedback and new follows on this! This was a slightly shorter chapter, but the next one is nearly finished, and I should have it up in the next few days!**


	10. Just Business

**A/N; I really am sorry for leaving you all with a cliffhanger in the last chapter, it was just the best place to break these two chapter up. No cliffhanger in this one! Again thank you all for the reviews, and feedback!**

I don't know how I'm going to manage to sit through dinner. I haven't heard back from Will's captors, and it's been hours since the man sent to do his bosses bidding, left the office after Diane called back. When she called back and said that in reality we could borrow ten to fifteen million if we really needed it, I don't think she was expecting me to tell her we might need the entire sum. I'll be forever grateful for the trust that Will, Diane, Cary and I hold with each other at this point in our careers. When this is over I hope to be able to explain the entire situation to both Cary and Diane.

I sigh, parking the car in the lot at the restaurant, and take a quick look at myself in the mirror. _Just hold it together for a little bit longer,_ I tell myself. This entire day has been an excruciating exercise in discipline and patience. Settled only by the knowledge Will is still alive.

I immediately take Mira from Grace's arms when I approach our table, squeezing her tighter than is necessary. She is my only comfort at this point.

"Where's Will?" Mom asks, as I sit at the table, placing Mira in my lap.

"He's still working. He apologizes for his absence, but we had a case come up yesterday that he has to take care off." I glance to Joan, who smiles back. The only one in the room who knows I'm lying. At least now the lies are only partial, since I know Will is actually coming back.

Our meals are served. My attention is split between the conversations at the table, making sure Mira doesn't throw her food on the floor, and checking my phone for any news. It's odd to watch and listen to everyone at the table going on as if this had been any ordinary day. There has been little normalcy in my world in the past day. The usual sibling banter between Sara and Aubrey, and Grace and Zach, is quite humorous. Mom tells us of her latest travels, and her new fling. Owen is seeing someone now. I'm glad they are all happy, but part of me wants to stop the trivial banter and tell them the real reason for Will's absence, and how I can't take much more of this waiting.

We near the end of the meal, and I finish yet another glass of wine. "Mom, you should probably stop drinking if you're going to drive home," Grace casually mentions. It's then that I realize how much I have indeed drunk, and switch to water.

"I'll be fine Grace!" I assure her. She's not wrong. I probably did have one glass to many. I'll just have to manage, if I need to go meet Will before the alcohol has had time to ware off.

A few minutes later, as dessert for Sara's two children and the two college students sitting at the table arrives, my phone buzzes causing me to nearly jump out of my seat. Joan seems to be the only one to notice. I get up from the table. "I have to take this," I say, excusing myself.

A few minutes later I return. "I need to go back to the office to help Will finish up something on this case. Can you all manage to get back to your hotels, and get Mira home to bed for me?"

Owen surveys me closely as everyone else assures me they will all be fine. I grab my coat and head out. My mind is focused one thing - Will - when Owen grabs my arm as I get to my car. I jump at his touch. "Owen, you scared me half to death!"

"Alicia, what's going on?"

"Nothing is going on Owen. I need to go back to work for a few hours. That's all."

"I don't believe you." He stands against my car blocking my ability to get in.

"Well, there isn't anything else to tell Owen. Get out of my way, I really need to go."

"You and Will are okay right?" he says, with real sincerity, which is completely off for him. "You don't need me to force any of my tough brother-in-law love on him do you?"

I muster a smile as best I can. "Will and I are fine. I'm going to meet him now. There isn't anything to be concerned about. You can ask him yourself tomorrow if you don't believe me." I can't wait any longer. I shove him out of the way, and get into the car, closing the door before he can ask any more questions.

/

I get to the spot along the Hudson River where we are set to meet. My heart is beating so loudly I can hear it. I'm anxious, and terrified at the same time. Who knows what these thugs have done to him in the past twenty-eight hours. The rain has let up, but the temperature is cold. I check my watch. I'm right on time.

Twenty minutes pass, and I'm beginning to wonder if this is really going to happen. My hopes begin to fail me, and I wonder if this was all some big rouse just to get the fifteen million. My thoughts turn to the horrifying idea that Will might not actually still be alive, that maybe I should have called the police at some point.

Moments later, I hear footsteps and turn to see two men I don't recognize, coming in my direction. Will is not with them, and my heart plummets.

"Alicia," one of them says. "I'm Jack Sutton."

"Where is Will?" I say, through gritted teeth. I want to scream, but have to remain calm.

"We just need to check you for a wire. If you're clean, I'll have my man retrieve your husband."

"I'm not wearing a wire!"

The man with Sutton steps over to me, patting me down. I cannot express how much I dislike this.

"She's clean," he says, stepping back to Sutton.

"Go get him."

"I have the wire transfer ready," I say holding up my phone.

"Good, I'm sorry we had to put you and your husband through this, but I had to know if you were both telling the truth, and if I could trust you."

"Trust us?" I say, angrily. Just then Will and another man appear down the path a ways. Relief floods me in seeing he is in fact alive. I want to run to him just to be held in his arms again, but I have to remain composed. They stop across the path from me. Sutton tells one of the men to untie Will's hands.

"Can we just wire the money so that Will and I can go home?" I shoot back, my attention on Sutton again.

"There's no need to wire the money," he responds, with a sly grin.

"What do you mean?" Will asks.

Sutton turns his attention to Will. "You can thank Mr. Bishop. He vouched for both of you. I really am a decent guy, despite what happened to you Will. This was just business."

"Just business?" I scoff. "What kind of business are you running?" I realize I should have more discretion here, but I'm angry.

Sutton chuckles. "Your husband can fill you in. I have a business proposition for both of you. Instead of taking your money, I want you two to represent me just like you did Mr. Bishop - my "legitimate" business of course."

"And if we don't want too?" I say disgustedly. My anger at this man for causing me to lie to so many people over the past twenty-four hours, and the harm I'm certain he caused Will is at a boiling point.

He sighs. "You want too, Alicia, trust me."

"After all the agony you've put me through in the past day, and after how awful I'm sure you've treated Will!"

"Alicia," Will speaks up again, and from his tone I can tell he wants me to stop. "We would be happy to represent you Mr. Sutton. Why don't you come by the office next week, and we can see what we can do for you."

I look at Will, not wanting to believe he's agreeing to this. However, it's probably a good thing he spoke up. I am ready to throw a punch at this guy – which I know would not go well. All I want is to be in Will's arms, and for he and I to be back home with our family.

Sutton turns to Will again. "You're right Will, she's a tough one! See you next week." He and the other men head back up the darkened path.

Once out of sight, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Will!" The tears begin to flow as I rush over to him wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulls me in tightly, burying his head into my shoulder. I'm a flood of tears as we remain there in each others arms for a few moments. The touch of his embrace and breath on my neck are enough to never want to let go. Sometimes you don't realize how much you long for something until it's been taken away, and then returned again.

Eventually I pull back and look up into his eyes. The relief in his safety, in touching him, in knowing he's been returned in one piece, is overwhelming.

He rests his forehead to mine. "I thought you were dead," I admit through my tears.

"I know. It's okay now. I'm right here." His eyes are moist, a rarity for him. I imagine he feels the same as I do. He leans in to press his lips to mine. I will never take another one of his kisses for granted.

"Let's go home," he says, pulling back, reaching for my hand.

It's only in this moment I notice the bandage on his right hand. It had been concealed by his suit coat that was draped over his shoulders. I take a better look at him and realize he's wearing a t-shirt, not the dress shirt he was wearing yesterday.

"What did they do to you?" I ask, taking his bandaged hand into mine. My lungs suddenly constrict and I can barely breathe.

He moves back to within inches of me placing a soft hand to my cheek. "You don't want to know."

"But your hand!" I say in objection.

"It's broken - three fingers."

I bite my lip and look down shaking my head. Its heart wrenching, the thought that someone has inflicted such pain on him.

He reads the concern on my face. "Alicia, I'm going to be okay. I'm back, that's all that matters. Please, let's go home. All I want right now is to be in our warm apartment with you and Mira."

I inhale deeply once again. "Yes, of course. Let's go."

We get into the car, I watch as he gingerly leans back against the leather seat, pushing the button to adjust the seat back further. He closes his eyes, letting out a breath in pure relief. He reaches his left hand to mine taking a hold of it. "I missed you," he says, in a loving yet exhausted tone.

I smile. "I missed you too!"

We drive in silence for a few minutes before he speaks up. "How is Mira?"

"Good, and completely oblivious to fact that you've been absent. She's had to many other distractions in the past forty-eight hours. I'm sure she's sound asleep by now."

A smile crosses his lips, he eyes still closed. "Good"

We drive in silence awhile longer, then I decide I better confess before we get home. "Will,"

"Hmm," he mumbles. He's obviously exhausted, nearly asleep if I had to guess.

"Your mother knows what's been going on."

He opens his eyes and looks at me. "What?"

"I couldn't sleep. It was the middle of the night. I told her everything. She's been wonderful! I don't think I would have lived through this without her."

He continues to stare at me.

"I just wanted you to know."

"Okay" He leans back closing his eyes again. "You didn't tell anyone else did you?"

"No, who are these guys anyway?"

He takes my hand again, running his thumb across my fingers. "Sutton is in the business of smuggling drugs."

"Like Bishop?"

"Yes"

I don't need any further explanation.

/

We arrive home entering the apartment to find Zach and Grace watching a movie, and Will's mother curled up in the oversized accent chair reading a book.

"We're home," I announce. Zach and Grace respond with half-hearted hellos, their focus on their movie. Joan stand's up, moving over to us, wrapping her arms around Will's neck.

"I'm glad your home son." A few tears form in her eyes.

He rests his head on her shoulder for a brief moment. "So am I, and thank you for being here for Alicia." She pulls back placing a hand to his cheek.

"You're welcome!" she says, with a smile that only a mother can share with her child. As much as I want Will all to myself, I'm willing to step back and let them have their time. I would want the same if I were in her shoes and Zach had just come home from such an ordeal.

I follow Will to Mira's room a few minutes later. We stand next to her crib for a few moments watching her sleep. Will runs his fingers through her hair. "There were a few moments I didn't think I'd ever see the two of you again," he says, shaking his head. "Daddy loves you," he whispers, taking my hand again.

We excuse ourselves for the night and retire to our bedroom. I move past him to begin the process of getting ready for bed. A few moments later I pause, noticing he hasn't moved from the spot where he sat on the bed. Worry fills me again as I notice his non bandaged hand gripping the bedspread.

"What's wrong?" I ask, moving to sit next to him.

He looks over to me, and I can see the pain in his eyes. "I need you to help me get this shirt off."

"Okay," I say, standing. He reaches for my hand.

"It's bad, Alicia," he says, in a guarded tone as if he's trying to protect me from something. "I'm in a lot of pain. I need you to change the bandages on my back. There are some extras in my suit coat, along with a bottle of pills. Get all of it out, and get me some water."

I stare at him for a minute. _Bandages on his back, bottle of pills? A_ new lump is beginning to form in my throat and knot in my stomach. "What did they do to you?"

He just shakes his head. "You don't need the details. I have a few bruised ribs, and some open wounds on my back. They took me to see Sutton's personal physician because they couldn't risk the questions that would have been asked at the hospital."

My heart is shattering into a million pieces. I get caught up in my thoughts and concern over him. He pulls me close. "It's okay. I just wanted to warn you before you see it."

I proceed to help him remove his shirt. My tears are threatening as I examine his bruised torso. I move behind him to replace the few bandages on his back with clean ones. I can't imagine the pain he's in, he looks awful. I finish up and place my hand on his shoulder. He puts his hand over mine. "Thank you" he says, in relief. I help him put a clean white undershirt on, and he moves to his side of the bed resting against the pillows, closing his eyes.

I change, and crawl into bed next to him. I'm nervous to even touch him, for fear I might cause him more pain. He stretches out his arm inviting me to rest against him. "Are you sure?" I question.

"Yes, it's the other side that's in the most pain."

I move next him, and he wraps his arm securely around me. Sometime later I'm still wide awake. "Will," I don't expect him to answer, he's exhausted, and the pills they gave him are strong narcotics.

"Yeah," he responds.

"We should take you to see our doctor tomorrow." I'm still very concerned about his well-being.

"No, we don't need too. I have enough pain medication to last as long as I should need." He opens his eyes and turns his head towards me. "Everything is going to be fine - I promise! All that matters now is that I'm home, and we're all safe."

I'm not convinced, but he leans over and kisses me again. "Let's get some sleep. We have a lot to celebrate tomorrow!" he says, adjusting himself into a more comfortable position.

"I love you!" I say, settling myself against him again.

"I love you more!" he responds, tightening his grasp around me.


	11. Birthday

_**March 21, 2019**_

I shift in our bed opening my eyes, and watch Will sleep, as the sun begins to rise outside. My heart is full this morning after the terrifying past two days of our lives, coupled with the significance of today. I can barely believe Will made it out of such cruel circumstances last night. After seeing fully his injuries, I'm not convinced he shouldn't still see a doctor. One who doesn't work for drug smugglers. My opposition to representing this man, who harmed him, is great. But I realize there isn't really a decent way around the situation.

I place a gentle hand on his arm, more for my own peace of mind than anything else. I don't want to wake him, the exhaustion in his eyes last night is something I haven't seen in… well probably a year when I woke up hours after giving birth to Mira. The amount of stress and agony I have caused him over the years is nothing short of enormous. His heart has paid a high price in having such a steadfast belief and strength in us, in me. A debt of love I'll never be able to repay.

Mira begins to fuss. I turn the monitor off so it doesn't wake Will, and shuffle my way out of bed. The large dark brown eyes that greet me as I enter the nursery melt my heart, a constant reminder to me of her father.

"Moma," she says, holding out her arms, standing in the crib.

"Happy Birthday baby," I say, pulling her in for a hug, placing a kiss on top of her head.

I take her to the kitchen where Joan has now appeared. She gives Mira a hug and kiss before making the two of us some coffee. I slice a banana, and place it along side some dry cheerios on Mira's tray before I sit at the table next to Joan.

"How's Will?" she questions, with a look of concern that she held in quite well last night.

I bite my lower lip, taking in a deep breath through my nose. There is no need to lie to her. "He's sleeping." I can't bring myself to meet her gaze. "It's awful Joan." I can feel a lump forming in my throat. "What they did to him was torture, and they should have to pay for it. Instead, we're going to represent them, and act like nothing happened." I realize how angry I am as the words slip from my mouth. I muster up the strength to look at her.

"Does he need a doctor?" she inquires.

I'm reminded in this moment of Joan's chosen profession. I glance over towards my bedroom, and then back to her. A retired pediatrician would have the skill and knowledge necessary to help him, or at least know if he needed further examining. "He's seen one, a man who works for the people who did this to him. Maybe you could take a look and make sure I applied his bandages correctly, and that the medication he was given is, _appropriate._ "I don't know that Will will agree to an exam by his mother. I also don't know if it was fair for me to ask her to look at the harm that fell upon her son. But I would feel a whole lot better knowing he had the treatment he really needs.

She nods, yet remains calm, and doesn't say anything as she stands to take her mug to the sink. She pauses behind me placing her hand on my shoulder squeezing softly.

"It will be okay Alicia," she reassures me. I look up at her. There is real honesty in her words, even though I can see the pain for her son in her eyes. As angry as I am, I know she's right. I place my hand over hers as a gesture to let her know I understand.

"Did you decide on a flavor for the cake?" she inquires after a few moments of silence.

"Banana, I think. It's not common for birthday cake, but Mira would probably prefer it to other flavors." I glance over to the Mira who is quite content placing cheerios in her mouth. My heart settles some. Watching her allows my mind to wonder to more pleasant things, like her birthday party later today.

"Banana it is," she says, with a smile. She offered to make Mira's cake, and I have no doubt it will be amazing.

I stay in my pajamas all morning. I don't want to disturb Will, and since there isn't really anyplace we need to go this morning, I figure I can help put up the party decorations Grace has brought just fine in my current attire.

As the morning continues, I have to smile at Zach sitting on the floor stacking blocks with Mira. He used to do the same thing with Grace when they were little. Sometimes I have to laugh to myself, I'm really too old to be raising a young child again, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank heavens Will still seems to have the energy of a thirty-year old, because I couldn't keep this up on my own.

In the late morning Will makes his way down the hall, I can tell he's stiff and in pain. I move next to him, and give him a quick kiss. "Sit down. Let me get you something to eat." He nods, and moves over to the couch. As soon as Mira sees him she pulls herself up to a standing position and toddles her way over to him. A large grin crosses his lips as he picks her up, placing her on his lap. "How's daddy's girl?" he asks, taking the block she offers him out of her hand.

"Dada play blocks?" she questions him.

"Yes sweetie, daddy will play blocks with you." He gingerly shifts to the floor.

* * *

Sometime later Will and I head to our room to get dressed for the day. We are meeting the rest of the family in Greenwich Village for the afternoon. A few minutes later there is a knock on the door. Will opens it, and lets his mother in.

"Let me take a look at you," she says, closing the door behind her. He glances over to me, with a knowing look in his eyes. He knows full well I put her up to this.

"Mom, I'm fine," he tries to reassure her.

"William, I've watched the way you've moved around all morning. Bandages and medication does not sound fine to me. Just let me make you're not getting any sort of infection."

I move to stand on the other side of him, opposite his mother. He glances at both of us, and then sighs. "One of you, I could take. But both of you together isn't worth the fight," he smiles, and sits on the bed. He looks at Joan. "I'd prefer Alicia help me off with my shirt. No offense mom, but I don't want to feel like I'm six again."

His gaze then turns to me. "I will get you for this!"

We all laugh as I move closer to help him with the shirt. After Joan and I place clean bandages on his hack, and she checks his rib, she examines the bottle of pills he was given. "This should do the trick, but you should really stay home and rest this afternoon. I think you'll find walking around the village for hours quite painful with that rib."

* * *

Against his desires, he stayed home. When all of returned in the early evening, he was sound asleep on the sofa.

When we originally purchased our apartment there was part of me that thought it was far more space than we needed. It was just Will and I. But I'm grateful now to have the space. With nearly everyone on both sides of our family here we need it.

The next few hours are focused on Mira. Will sits on the floor behind her to help her open her gifts. It's no surprise she finds the colorful wrapping more interesting than the gifts themselves.

Soon it's time for cake. Mira sits on Will's lap as Joan places a beautiful butterfly shaped cake on the table in front of them. It looks like it was professionally made. I envy the baking talent of this woman. I have never been one with the ability to decorate a cake.

After we sing, and take what seems like a thousand pictures, I slice the cake, and place a piece in front of Mira and Will with a fork so he can help her. Grace catches my sly move immediately.

"Mom, you have to let her eat it by herself. That's part of the fun." Grace takes the fork from Will's hand and gives it to Mira.

Everyone's eyes are on me, including Sara's nine and thirteen year olds.

"Sis, put a bib on her, and let it go. It won't kill you if she makes a mess with her birthday cake," Owen interjects. Will chuckles and I give in.

I then look him in they eye. "You can bathe her tonight, because I promise you there will be cake in places you would never think." He just grins at me as Mira puts the fork down, grabbing the slice of cake with her fingers.

It's actually adorable to watch her eat it, and I get the perfect shot of Will kissing her frosting covered cheek. I've hardly had time to reflect back on this day a year ago. Each year on Grace and Zach's birthdays, memories of their births always come to mind. It's been a little different today with Mira, since I was unconscious when she was pulled from the womb. My first memories of her, are from many hours after she was born when Will brought her to see me. I've never been so terrified in my entire life as I was when we first arrived at the hospital that night. I never thought I'd live to see this day.

"You okay?" Will whispers in my ear, as he sits next to me on the sofa.

"Yes," I reassure him with a smile. I must have looked concerned dabbling in my thoughts. We sit quietly next to each other watching everyone around us. Mom is busy telling Joan of her latest travel adventures. Grace and Zach get out a board game to play with Anna and Adam. Owen, Aubrey, her husband, and Sara are having a debate over current politics. I look down at the floor where Mira is happy playing with her new toys. Will places his arm around me, and I settle against his shoulder. Both of us content to watch everyone else.

"It's time for the birthday girl to go to bed," I say sometime later, leaning over to pick Mira up. "Tell your sister Grace thank you for throwing you such a nice party." I hand Mira to Grace who gives her a big hug before returning her to my arms.

"Wait, just a minute," Aubrey says standing, grabbing her husband's hand so he'll stand next to her. "We have something to tell everyone."

All eyes move to the couple standing in front of the fireplace. I glance over to Will. I have a feeling I know what this all about, but I'm trying to not get my hopes up.

"We're having a baby!" she says with enthusiasm, and a few tears. This is wonderful news. Even more so for those of us in the room who know what a struggle it's been for them to conceive. Will and I had no idea of the struggle they'd been through until after Mira was born. Aubrey came to visit a month after Mira entered the world, and fell to pieces as soon as Will put the baby into her arms. After two years of tests, and fertility drugs this is heartfelt news.

* * *

I stayed up late to spend some quiet time with Zach and Grace. They will be heading back to school tomorrow. I can't believe Zach will be graduating in another six weeks. It's almost humorous to think I have a child graduating from college, and one who just turned a year old. Sometimes I miss the times when they were young and life seemed simpler, but I enjoy watching them turn into adults. I don't know how I feel about Zach having a serious girlfriend, or the fact that Grace is getting ready to take the LSAT, and begin applying for law school in the fall. At the time I thought it was great she had so much college credit before her freshman year, and it is good. But the idea that she could be practicing law in four short years is bittersweet for a mother's heart.

I move close to Will as I climb into bed. He's holding a photo taken of us with Mira in the hospital. "Can you believe it's been a whole year?"

I entwine my arm with his and place a soft kiss on his cheek. "No, I can't." I say resting my head on his shoulder gazing at the photo in his hands.

"I still can't think about that day without feeling terrified, and overjoyed all at the same time," he admits. He places the photo back on the bedside table, and pulls me in closer. "I don't think I would have made it through this past year without you."

I entwine my fingers with his and look up into his eyes. "You could have. You're a wonderful father, and Mira wouldn't be any less loved if I weren't here."

He places a kiss on my forehead. "All I could think about while I was being held was you and Mira." His grasp on me tightens. "I was so scared I'd never see you again. Never be sitting right here with you again."

His admittance is hard to swallow. I look up into his eyes, which show a blank sorrowful look. I've been so concerned about his physical well being, it hadn't even occurred to me the mental toll the experience may have had on him. I'm so used to him being the strong one emotionally between us. In this moment, I know it's my turn to take on the role of emotional support for awhile. I reach my hands to his face, pressing my fingers so he'll look at me. "Are you okay?"

He leans in pressing his temple to mine. "I think so. It was just too much Leesh." He shakes his head. "Too much," he whispers.

There have only been a few times during our years together where I've seen tears in his eyes, and this is one of them. A few of my own tears spill from my eyes as we continue to look at each other. I run my thumb across his cheek. "It's going to be okay, because I'm here for you." His head falls to my shoulder, and I wrap my arm around his neck. "I'm here, and we're safe." I whisper.

We remain like this for a few more minutes. No more words need to be said as we settle under the sheets together. As we drift off to sleep it's me with an arm around him tonight, providing the comfort and support.

 **A/N; Thank you all so much for reading this! I have to admit that even though updates are slow, I really love writing this one.**


	12. Graduation

_**May 2019**_

 _ **Will**_

Alicia, Mira, and I have been enjoying ourselves at this community center all afternoon. Lillian and Hannah planned a fundraiser in D.C. for Lillian's foundation this week. It happened to fall the day before Zach's graduation, so Alicia and I volunteered to help out.

There has been a great turnout of support for the families that are here that will benefit from the funds raised. I can't imagine what it must be like for some of these parents after some of the stories I've heard. Many forced to find shelter for their children in homeless centers, in many cases due to unbelievable circumstances.

Alicia is a natural draw for the kids. A whole group of them are seated around her while she reads them one last story before it's time to finish up for the day. This is quite the contrast for her in public, wearing jeans and button up sleeveless blouse, her hair pulled up in a ponytail, as compared to the no nonsense lawyer in expensive dresses and heels, she wears to work every day.

"You used to play baseball?" My thoughts are interrupted by a boy maybe ten years old.

"Yes, I did. How did you know that?"

He points to Alicia. "She told us earlier. She said you did real good in school and got a scholarship to play baseball at Georgetown. And that if we worked really hard we could earn a scholarship to."

I'm impressed the boy remembered all of that. "She's right. Do you like baseball?" I can already guess. He's wearing an Orioles cap, and has a baseball in his hand.

"Yes. Would you mind showing me the right way to pitch a few balls? Someday I want to be on a team like my friends back home before we had to move."

"Sure. Tell your parent's we'll be right over there so they can find you." I point across the lawn to an open grassy area.

A few minutes later I'm surrounded by a group of eager looking kids. Apparently that boy isn't the only one who wants to play a little ball. Much to my surprise they all seem impressed I used to play for a college team. I chuckle to myself, because a minor, or major league player would be much more impressive than the baseball I played in college.

/

We are headed back to the hotel for awhile before we meet up with Zach and Grace for dinner. "You did a great job with those kids this afternoon. I think they had more fun tossing that baseball around than anything else." Alicia comments.

"I had a good time." I peer through the rear view mirror to catch a glimpse of Mira. "I can't imagine how life must be for those kids."

"I know," she comments, peering back to Mira herself. "And sadly they're the ones living in a first world country. Imagine what it must be like elsewhere." She shakes her head, leaning back in the seat closing her eyes.

"I think we should get more involved in Lillian's foundation," I add, taking her hand.

"I agree. We'll invite Lillian and Dave over for dinner when we get back home, and discuss it."

"Good, and maybe we should think about taking on more pro-bono cases within the office," I suggest. She opens her eyes again, peering over to me. "What?" I question.

'Seeing those kids really got to you didn't it?" she says, in all seriousness.

"Yeah. All they want to do is…go to school, play ball, have a little fun, just be kids. But finding a place to sleep and coming up with enough food to go to bed on a partially full stomach at night, prevents them from most of that."

She smiles moving her hand to the back of my shoulder. "How is your back?"

I can't hide anything from her. "It's hurting now," I admit. The open wounds from my run-in with the drug lord six weeks ago are healed. But I don't think the muscles in my back will ever be the same. "I'll take something before we go to dinner. I wasn't going to let those kids down because of a little pain."

I take my eye off the road briefly to glance over to her. She's still reeling over the whole situation. I've done my best to keep her out of the meetings I've had with this client. Her disapproval of our representing him has been voiced more than once, and caused a few squabbles between us in the past few weeks. It's not that I don't agree with her, but I don't want to know what the consequences of refusing to represent this client would be.

"Alicia, I'll be fine." She worries too much sometimes. Although I do have to admit right now the pain is much worse than it has been.

"I know. But you're going to let me work on those muscles tonight. I won't have you hobbling around campus tomorrow."

I laugh. "I will not hobble around tomorrow, I promise." I say as we pull into hotel parking. I won't argue with that. A good back rub from her later would do wonders.

"Good. I'm glad we're on the same page, because when we get home I'm making you an appointment to see a physical therapist." She gets out of the car, and moves around to the back so she can unbuckle Mira.

I take Mira from her. "I'll make the appointment." I say. It's a good idea, and I know full well she'll pretend to withhold any and all affection from me unless I agree to it.

/

Alicia has been wound as tight as a ball this morning, and I don't think she even realizes it. It's a mix of things. Zach's graduating, which means he's continuing to grow up. She's happy about this, but I think it makes her a little sad. The more stressing issue is that I know she's worried about the dynamics of Peter and I being together in the same place for hours today. This, even though he and I get along fine, and I've told her so a thousand times in the past few weeks, but I don't think she's convinced.

She turns to look at me, searching for approval of her chosen outfit. I can see the hint of insecurity in her eyes, something I try hard to prevent from ever happening, but today it may be unavoidable. The other thing that's bothering her is something she'd never admit. Peter is engaged, and will be bringing his fiancé to the graduation. Subconsciously I don't think she will ever be able to fully get rid of the questions that ran through her mind ten years ago. _Why did you fall out of love with me? Why wasn't I good enough, attractive enough for you?_ Despite the fact that the fences have been long mended, and we've all moved on, she's nervous about meeting the woman who apparently can be all of these things for Peter now.

I smile and nod, allowing my eyes to wander up and down her body once. She takes it the wrong way, and rolls her eyes.

"Is thinking about getting my clothes back off after I've just put them on, the only thing you ever think about when you look at me like that?"

Here we go, her stress coming out in her comments now. I can't help but chuckle as I move next to her. "No, and for the record, I wasn't thinking about that just now. I was thinking about how good you looked with your clothes on. How lucky I am to have such a beautiful wife. You could pass as a graduate yourself today." It's no lie. She's aging well. Still looks likes she's thirty. I move behind her placing my hands on her bare shoulders leaving little space between us. "Calm down," I whisper in her ear, then lean in closer to place a kiss to her cheek. "You're wound up so tight, you won't enjoy the ceremony."

She sighs. "I know. It's just that Peter and Jackie will be there. And we're going to meet this girl that Zach is dating."

"Rachel," I comment. The girlfriend does have a name.

"Yes, Rachel. And can we just stop for a second and acknowledge the odd fact that the last time we were all here, I was dating Peter, nearly engaged, and you were the friend on the outside? And now we're married, and he's engaged to someone else."

I can't help but laugh a bit at the irony. I force her to turn and look at me. "I had thought about that. And I'm perfectly happy being the one that will be holding your hand this time at a Georgetown graduation." I lean in for a quick kiss. "It's all going to run smoothly. I bet you'll even like Rachel."

"She does sound nice from what the Zach has said. And Grace seems to like her," she says, gently patting my chest. She moves from out of my grasp to the bed to put her heels on.

My attention is turned to Mira who grabs onto my pant leg and pulls herself up to stand next to me. I pick her up and gather a few things to place in her diaper bag, then turn back to Alicia to see if she's ready to go. She's lost in thought again, and I can't help but chuckle. She looks up at me.

"You laugh now, but just wait until it's your daughter graduating." She stands, and grabs her purse.

"I will not have a bad case of the nerves when she graduates from college." I press a kiss to Mira's cheek.

"I didn't mean when Mira graduates from college," she teases. "We'll see how you handle kindergarten graduation first."

We both laugh as Mira begins to play with the button on my jacket. "Mommy doesn't have much faith in my ability to keep my emotions in check when it comes to you," I say, following Alicia to the door.

She turns to face me again. "Putty," she states, with the most serious smile she can muster. "You are pure putty in her hands." Then she turns to exit the hotel room. I would try to counter argue, but I know she's right.

/

It's always interesting to watch Alicia when she's in mother mode with the older kids. Straightening Zach's tie, making sure he understands where to meet when the ceremony is over. And of course the look of joy, and pride, in her smile when she gives him one last hug before he heads to get in line with the other graduates.

Just outside the auditorium I notice Grace, Owen, and Veronica talking. As we get closer, I can now see Jackie, Peter and the tall woman with auburn hair who has her back turned to us holding his hand. Alicia grasps tightly onto my free hand as we get closer.

"There they are," Veronica comments as we reach the group. "We thought you were going to be late."

"Mom, is Alicia ever late for anything?" Owen adds.

"We were with Zach," Alicia comments, releasing her grasp on my hand. She turns her attention to Peter. "I hear congratulations are in order," she says, her gaze moving to the woman next to Peter.

"Yes, thank you. This is Lydia," Peter introduces us.

After a little small talk we all make our way to our seats. Once we're all seated Alicia turns to me. "She's pretty," she whispers in my ear.

I better tread carefully here. I don't know what she's looking for as a response. I can't even figure out what she's thinking right now. Yes, the Lydia is attractive, but not my type. "I hadn't noticed," I whisper back. She looks right into my eyes with raised brow.

"How could you not? She's tall, thin, has beautiful hair."

"Are you jealous?" I try to make things light, but that was the wrong thing to say, because she instantly glares at me.

"No, I just…"

"Leesh, you really need to just relax. We're all here to support Zach. You don't even have to talk to Lydia if you don't want to. But she seems nice. And Peter has just as much as right to move on as you did." She gets a curious look in her eye. Yes I'm defending Peter I want to say.

"She does, doesn't she?"

"Yes." I smile at her. She turns her gaze forward, taking my hand again as the ceremony starts.

The ceremony went well, but a little long in my opinion. We're all chatting outside the venue when I notice Zach walking towards us. Alicia seemed to relax during the ceremony, but things may change soon. I watch her as Zach gets closer, his hand entwined with a girl's. This must be Rachel, the girl that has stolen his heart. Alicia has her hesitations over the idea that Rachel and Zach are planning on moving in with each other when they move to San Francisco in a few weeks. The two have both landed good jobs in their chosen computer tech fields. I suspect, that even after we have spent some time with Zach and this girl, his mother will want to have a long talk with him about relationships, and long term commitment.

They stop right in front of all of us. "Everyone, this is Rachel," the smile on his face seems genuine. Zach introduces her to everyone. Rachel seems like a perfectly nice person, and didn't shy away when Alicia asked her a few questions. After a few more minutes, and what seems like a thousand photos have been taken, he excuses the two of them to go meet with her family. They promise to be at the restaurant on time in a few hours.

Grace has some things she wants to show Peter, so we all part for the time being. Alicia and I decide to walk Mira in the stroller around campus for awhile. She's fallen asleep, and we both know full well she'll wake up, and be cranky if we try to move her from the stroller to car seat at this point. We head in the direction of the Potomac, to walk along one of the shaded paths that runs between the river and campus. "Rachel seems nice," I say causally.

"She does," Alicia admits, continuing to walk without looking at me. "I'm just worried Zach's moving too fast. I know he's dated a great deal, and I want him to be happy, but..." Her voice trials off. She gets lost in thought again, something she's been doing a lot of since we arrived in D.C.

I put my arm around her waist as we continue to walk. I know what she's thinking, and there's no reason to voice it. She's worried Zach will rush into a marriage just like she did, and that twenty years from now he may regret that decision.

"I can't believe how much the campus has changed." I change the subject.

"It has, but what did we expect? It's been nearly twenty-five years since we were students here."

We continue along the shaded path behind the university buildings. "Why didn't you ever try to date me back then?" she asks.

Bad timing is the first thing that comes to mind. But she already knows that. She's looking for a different reason.

"I did ask you out once," I protest.

She pauses and looks at me. "You mean that time during our 1L year when you asked me to meet you at that restaurant, and I waited thirty minutes before I finally left because you never showed up?" She raises a brow to me. "That was not a date. That was supposed to be a study session."

I laugh inside because she and I definitely remember things differently. "No, I asked you if you'd like to have dinner with me. You are the one that turned it into a study date. And just for the record, you're the one who got the time wrong, not me."

"No. You are the one who got the time wrong. I am never late for anything."

I laugh out loud. "Okay, we don't need to repeat the argument we had the following day over this."

She laughs now. "We argued a lot during school didn't we?"

"I like to say we debated a lot during school. Arguing is probably a bit strong."

We continue walking. "Seriously Will, if that was supposed to be a date, why didn't you ever ask me out again?"

"What grabbing coffee before class, or pizza to keep us awake while studying didn't count?" I laugh inside, as she rolls her eyes.

"That was always nice, especially when I could barely keep my eyes open in the morning. But we haven't ever really talked about it. You're the one who said you'd been in love with me since Georgetown, so spill."

I notice a bench and lead her to it. "Things were complicated back then." I say.

"Because we were friends?"

"Yes, for one thing."

"I want to understand. We spent hours with each other. We studied together, we hung out together. You slept on my couch over night more than once."

"Why didn't you ever ask me out?" I smile, turning the tables.

"I had my reasons. But we aren't talking about me right now," she smiles, trying to contain the laughter rising in her.

I shake my head leaning forward, placing my elbows to my knees and look at her. Getting serious again I begin. "It was a lot of things. We were friends. I didn't want to screw that up. By our second year I began to realize I had genuine feelings for you. I was going to tell you so. But when we came back from the holiday break that year, and I was ready to test the waters, you got more serious with Peter." I look out at the river flowing in front of us. "The way you made me feel when I was with you…I never felt like that with anyone else. I was always happy when I was with you, even if we were "debating". But I didn't want to mess things up between you and Peter, and end up having you hate me for it later." I look back over to her. "Honestly, I thought you'd eventually break things off with him and I'd get my chance. But that never happened." I smile. "It doesn't matter now. I think we all ended up where we were supposed to be. And just think, if you hadn't married Peter you wouldn't have Zach and Grace. And I think they're two pretty great kids."

A gentle smile crosses her lips. "But then maybe you would have more children." She loves her children more than anything, all three of them, but I know sometimes she feels guilty for not being able to give me more. Not that I need or want more, and I've told her this.

I bring a hand to her chin. "You already gave me three wonderful kids. I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Okay," she responds. I place a soft kiss to her temple, and then we get up to finish our walk.

/

We're near the end of the meal when Veronica asks Zach and Rachel if they have any plans for this evening. They do have a party planned with some other graduates. This prompts Grace to ask what her parent's had done on graduation night.

Alicia and Peter exchange a quick guarded, but embarrassed look. Alicia takes a sip of her wine before speaking. "Well… your dad graduated the year before I did, but agreed to attend a party with me held by some of our friends." She looks over to Peter.

"I think Will was at that party if I'm not mistaken?" Peter adds.

"I was," I comment. "It was a lot of fun." Alicia takes my hand under the table. I could add that Peter and Alicia left that party after only an hour, and I can imagine what went on between them after that. But there is no need to bring that up.

Zach announces they need to go, ending the brief moment of awkwardness at the table.

We all get up to leave. Alicia gives Zach one last hug. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks mom."

She turns to Rachel. "It's been nice getting to know you. Can you come with Zach to Will's parents for dinner Sunday?" They're only an hour away, and Alicia and I are planning to spend a few days with them before heading back home.

Zach quickly looks to me. I smile and nod affirmatively. Rachel seems like a pretty great person and a good balance for Zach. Alicia must feel similar, or she wouldn't have invited Rachel to join us Sunday.

"I'd like that," Rachel replies.

Alicia congratulates Peter and Lydia one last time, and then we all leave our separate ways.

/

I put Mira to bed for the night. It wasn't really any trouble after the day we had. She was exhausted after being passed around to everyone at the dinner table. I close the door to the bedroom behind me. One of the advantages to a suite is having a separate sleeping space for Mira.

Alicia looks lost in thought again. I move quietly over to her wrapping my arms around her from behind. She reaches and takes hold of my arm, relaxing into me.

"I can't believe he's all grown up, and going to start a career in another week," she comments, continuing to stare out the window. "I was so nervous about starting at my new firm after graduation. But Zach doesn't seem worried at all to be moving across the country and getting right into the thick of it."

"I was a little nervous, but quite happy to be done with school." I add.

She nods. "I like Rachel more than I thought I would. She seems to have her head screwed on straight."

I smile leaning closer to kiss her neck. "Yes. Are you still going lecture Zach on Sunday? Have a mother son heart to heart?" She just smiles and turns to face me.

"Yes," she leans in to kiss my lips this time.

"I have a surprise for you," I say, after we pull apart, placing my hands on her waist. "I was going to wait until tomorrow to tell you, but I think now would be better."

She looks into my eyes with a hint of excitement. "You do?" She places her hands on my chest.

"I know we were supposed to drive up to see my parent's tomorrow, but I've made other plans. Grace is going to take Mira up tomorrow, and we'll join them on Sunday. I'm going to take you on that date I never had a chance to all those years ago."

She smiles. "Really? When did you make these plans? Are you sure your parents won't mind keeping Mira overnight?"

"I made arrangements about two weeks ago. They can't wait to have Mira and Grace all to themselves for one night."

She chuckles. "Yeah, we know who's really important these days don't we?"

"Yes," I respond with a little laugh. In fact my mother wanted to know if we wanted two nights away. I assured her that one would be sufficient.

"It's a date then!" She leans in and kisses me again.

Her warm body now pressed closely to mine, I intend to get rid of any lingering insecurities she was feeling earlier while we were with Peter. I allow my eyes to slowly wander over her body,

"There's that look again," she whispers, leaning in to press her lips to my neck as her hands make their way to my belt.

"I can't help it. The most beautiful woman in the world has been next to me all day." My hands reach behind her to unzip her dress.

"No." She reaches for my hands as we move towards the bed. Her hands move to my shoulders as she gently presses me to a sitting position. So this is how it's going to be tonight, she wants all the control. I'll gladly give it to her.

Her lips press more firmly to my neck moving towards my lips as she continues to help remove the remainder of my clothes. It drives me insane when she does this, and takes a great amount of self control to not remove her clothing before she's ready. Her dress still on she stands next to me placing a leg on the bed to remove her nylons… and now her panties. I'm already to go, and she knows it, but she's going to torture me for as long as she can.

A few minutes later after we've made out on the bed, I offer to help her with the zipper on her dress.

She has me sit again. "No," she whispers, as she pulls the dress up just enough so she can maneuver her legs and sink deep right onto me. This only makes me more excited. Things will last a long time tonight. The fact that she keeps the dress on for this first round probably means she's planning on a long evening of love making.

I lay breathless on top of her coming down from the high again, and look into her eyes. A broad smile across her lips, all the stress and tension from the day gone from her eyes. "I might be getting to old for this," I comment. It's been a fairly intense night we've spent in this bed, and my back is admittedly aching again.

She laughs out loud. "We're never going to be too old for this."

I gently brush back the few strands of silky hair from her face, and give her one last peck on the lips before rolling off her. The sheet wrapped around her she turns onto her elbow to face me, and begins tracing circles on my chest. We're silent for a few moments before she speaks up again.

"Will."

She sounds sad now. "Yeah," I open my eyes and look at her.

"Thank you,'

"For what?"

A gentle smile forms on her lips. "For loving me. For always making me feel wanted."

There is a lot of meaning behind those words. The thing I want most for her is that she always feel loved by me no matter the circumstances. "I'll always love you. I'll always want you." I reply.

She settles next to me, her head on my chest, my arm wrapped around her for security. I do this not only for her benefit, but for mine as well. I thought the fear and insecurity of being taken and beaten six weeks ago would go away after a few days. It did for a few weeks, but it's returned. I keep telling myself this is ridiculous, it's over, there isn't a threat anymore. I don't want to worry Alicia, but some days I feel like jumping right out of my own skin. The fear that if I don't handle a case the way a client, this client in particular, wants that it will happen again. Or even worse, that they'll take Alicia the next time. I'm supposed to be able to protect my family. Some days I'm scared stiff I won't be able to. But how do you get rid of client that could ruin your life?

I pull Alicia closer, she's already asleep. I'll do my best to push these terrifying thoughts from my mind and try to get some sleep.

 **A/N; I apologize for the long delay in posting again. Thank you all so much for continuing to read this one.**


	13. Sleepless

**A/N: I know it's been forever since I updated this. Let me know if anyone is still reading it. I'll try to update more frequently.**

 _ **May 2019**_

 _ **Alicia**_

I should be sleeping right now, but I'm wide awake thinking about our evening. When Will told me he wanted to take me on the date he never had the chance to when we attended Georgetown, I didn't realize how literally he'd meant it. He's had this date swimming around in his head for twenty-five years. It was the perfect evening, very laid back, no frills, no fancy restaurants. Something I enjoy now, and would have enjoyed back then.

I had to giggle a bit once we were ready to leave the hotel when he insisted he had to _pick me up._ I assumed he'd just go outside our room and knock on the door. But as he left the room he said he'd back in a few minutes.

He knocked five minutes later with a bouquet of flowers in his hands - a half dozen roses. He'd prearranged with the hotel concierge to get him the flowers. _"This is what I would have brought for you back then,"_ he'd said.

When we were in law school there was this restaurant near campus that was a few steps up from the pizza place everyone went to, and a few steps down from the expensive one that all the tenured professors got reservations to on the weekends. This particular restaurant was known around campus as the place you took someone after you'd been dating for awhile, certainly not a first date. But Will said that back then he'd meant to impress without going way over the top. To my surprise the restaurant was still there twenty-five years later. So that's where we went after leaving the hotel.

He and I both chuckled at the price of the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu, lower than what we've become accustomed to. It was a good middle range wine, nothing lavish. But as college students we probably would have gawked at the _high price_.

The food we ate was very good, and the atmosphere was relaxed. There didn't seem to be any pressure from the restaurant staff to get us through the meal as quickly as possible just so the next paying customers could fill our seats.

After leaving the restaurant, we walked a few blocks towards the river. It was nearing dusk the warm spring air becoming cooler. That was where we deviated from his plan slightly. He informed me there was a debate going on in his mind. He'd intended for us to take a walk among the monuments once the sun had gone down. That had been the thing to do all those years back. The monuments are a sight to see lit up at night, and for the most part the tourists have all gone back to their hotels. But apparently when he'd made his plans with Grace to take Mira to his parent's for the night, she'd told him about an evening cruise we could take at dusk that went along the river. Telling him how fun it had been to see the city and some of the monuments all lit up from the vantage point of a boat, not to mention how romantic it might be. He gave me a choice, and in the end we opted for the twilight cruise. Grace was right - it didn't disappoint.

When we got back to the hotel he told me that had he taken me out on this date twenty-five years ago, after walking through the monuments we would have stopped for ice cream on our way back to campus. "So why aren't we doing that tonight?" I asked, with raised brow. I'm a little bit of a sucker for ice cream, and he knows it.

He got a coy little grin on his face, and that, _I know you better than you know yourself sometimes,_ look in his eye.

"Because in about an hour you're going to turn to me, after wearing me out," he emphasized, "and tell me to call the number for room service and have some of that cheesecake you've been eyeing all weekend sent up to the room."

The thought makes me smile now. He really does know me well. And the cheesecake was very good. There is something about Will, and hotels, and dessert after sex that I can't resist. Honestly, I think it's because it reminds me of all those times during our affair all those years back, where it was much safer to order room service than it was to go to a restaurant late at night together. So now it's just become a subconscious habit, or tradition, or who really knows.

Despite the wonderful evening we spent together, I'm lying here wide awake, instead of in a blissful slumber. On our way back to the car after the cruise, we took a short walk along the river front. We were talking, enjoying each other. Out of nowhere a few rowdy college kids came around a corner running past us bumping into Will as they went by. I didn't think much of it, but Will nearly jumped out of his skin, cursing under his breath, and yelling after them to watch where they were going. His reaction surprised me. The guy that bumped into him barely touched him. But the grip Will had on my hand nearly cut off the circulation.

Seconds later he avoided my gaze loosening his grip. "Sorry," he apologized. "I don't know where that came from," he said, letting out a deep breath. He was clearly shaken, but before I could say anything about it he'd put his arm around my shoulder, and had delved back into the conversation we were having before the brief interruption.

I turn to face him. His back is towards me now. I stare at him in the dark. I don't need any light to see the scars on his back beneath his undershirt. It hadn't occurred to me until I thought about his reaction to those college kids tonight, that maybe he isn't as fine as he keeps telling me he is. He's handled everything so well since he was taken and beaten, that any psychological affects I was worried about for the first few weeks had melted away. But maybe I've just been blind to it.

It's possible that the episode tonight came as much of a surprise to him as it had me. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe I'm reading something into his obvious anxiety in those few moments that isn't really there. But deep down my gut tells me I'm not

I shift closer to him threading my arm under his. Unconsciously his hand covers mine. I'm going to need to pay better attention to his actions and reactions in the coming weeks. He's not invincible, even if he likes to think he is. It's reasonable to think that even the strongest person could have some psychological repercussions after being taken and beaten for hours. In his case it may be that it's just taken this long for those repercussions to start showing up.

 _ **June 2019, Five weeks later.**_

I don't know what woke me. I turn to glance at Will. He's not in the bed - again. My eyes move about the room. There's no light on. He must not be in the bathroom.

Maybe Mira woke up and I didn't hear her. I turn on the video feature to the monitor. She's sound asleep in her bed. I lay my head back down on my pillow and stare up at the ceiling. I wonder how long it will be before he comes back to bed. I wonder how long he's already been up tonight. This has been going on for a few weeks now. Every few nights, as far as I know at least, he gets up in the middle of the night and comes back to bed hours later.

I asked him about it a few days ago because I was getting worried about him. He told me he's just stressed about work right now. He's got a lot on his plate, some really intense cases right now. All true, but it's been like this before and hasn't ever disturbed his sleep so much.

I don't think he realizes how his lack of sleep has affected his thinking, or his actions at work. The weekend is coming up in a few days. I'm going to try to get him to talk about it some more. If he keeps this up he'll run himself into the ground, and I don't think its work that's actually keeping him up at night.

"When did you come back to bed?" I ask, a few hours later, sitting next to him on the edge of the bed after getting out of the shower.

He sits up next to me, and kisses my cheek. "I don't know. Three or four," he says with a yawn. He stands up and starts across the room towards the bathroom.

"I'm worried about you," I say, standing back up. "You aren't getting enough sleep."

He stands there, his back turned to me and sighs. "Leesh, I'll be fine. Jury comes in on the Crane case today, and the court date for the Lewis case got bumped to next month last night." He turns around to look at me. "I'm not going to work this weekend. I can catch up on sleep then."

He moves closer to me, pressing a kiss to my lips. "You know if you were awake last night you should have come and gotten me. I can think of a few better ways to have spent that time than in front of my laptop in the front room!"

His hands stay on my hips, all signs of exhaustion suddenly vanished. He's good at avoiding the topic of conversation if he wants to be. But I'm not playing his little game this morning. I'm worried about him. I pull out of his embrace and head to the closet. "I wasn't awake very long," I say, pulling a blouse and pants from the closet.

He can tell I'm worried, and a little irritated. He comes over to the closet and gently takes my wrist so I'll look at him. "Leesh, I'm okay. You don't need to worry."

"Okay," I respond, letting it go for now. I lean and press a quick kiss to his cheek. We don't have time this morning to discuss it any further, or get into an argument over it.

/

It's after eleven. Will should be in court for the verdict on his case. Instead he's in the conference room with Sutton and one of his _legitimate business_ associates. I just roll my eyes at the thought. Sutton seems to think he can get Will at his every beck and call. I offered to meet with him, even though I really hate this man, so Will could be in court. But Will said no. He doesn't want me having any contact with Sutton. It's probably best, I don't know for how long I could really hold my tongue. What I'd really like to do is call the police, and give this guy a piece of my mind. But I understand what consequences such moves could bring.

I sit and watch Will for a few minutes. He appears to be calm, and collected, buried deep in whatever they're discussing. I don't know how he does it. We need to find a way to get out from under this mans fist. I shake my head and go back to my office.

I glance at my watch it's nearly seven now. My attentions quickly diverted to the abrupt noise in the hall. Will is just outside his office having a heated, rather one way conversation with his assistant. _"What is going on?"_ I say under my breath heading in their direction.

"I asked you fix this business agreement two days ago!" Will says angrily.

"I made all of the changes you asked for. Check the file I sent you," Danielle responds evenly, quickly glancing in my direction with a confused look on her face.

"Then why does this section of the document still have the wrong investment totals on it, and why doesn't this name change show up throughout the entire document? Those are just a few of the mistakes that should have been fixed. I looked like a complete idiot in that meeting. If you can't make these simple red-line changes, then maybe you shouldn't be working here."

"Will," I interrupt sternly. He goes to say something again. "Will!" I say louder getting closer to him. This is way out of line. Danielle has worked for him since the day we opened our doors in New York. She wouldn't make those kinds of mistakes. Even if she did, he's handling this all wrong.

He turns and glares at me. "Alicia, I don't have time for whatever it is you need right now."

I fold my arms across my chest, and glare right back at him. He goes to say something else to me, but turns back to Danielle. "I need this done in an hour." He goes into his office slamming the door behind him.

I just stand there staring at his office. Danielle speaks up bringing me out of my thoughts. "Alicia, I don't know what he's talking about. I went over that document three times and made sure I had all the changes he asked for."

She's not hurt, maybe a little offended, but I can't blame her. She knows Will, and has handled his temper before, but even I think he crossed a line here.

"It's okay Danielle. I'll talk to him about it and get it figured out. It's getting late. Why don't you go home for the night?"

"Okay," she says, hesitantly. "I'm sorry if I screwed up."

I look at her with sympathy. "We'll figure it out. Send me a copy of the red-line, and the finished document you sent him before you leave, okay?"

She nods, and I go back into my office. Will hasn't come back out of his office in the hour since his outburst. I'm about ready to leave so I head towards his office. I can hear him with raised voice again. He must be on the phone.

Just as I enter, he hangs up and throws a file across his desk. Paper flies all over the floor around his desk. I close the door and move towards him. It's only then he realizes I'm there.

"You want to tell me what's going on before some of our best staff quits, and your office becomes a disaster?" I try to sound calm when I say it, but I'm sure he caught the hint of irritation in my voice.

"If this is about Danielle, she screwed up. You should have seen me trying to explain to our client this afternoon why their documents were incomplete." He has trouble lowering his tone with me.

"No Will, she didn't screw up. I checked. She made all the right changes."

"Then what is this?" he says, in frustration. He grabs a binder off his desk and walks towards me.

I take it from him and open the binder. Immediately I see the problem. "Did you print this, or did you have Danielle do it?" I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"I printed it last night. I needed it for the meeting today," he shoots back. "We'll be lucky if those guys keep us on as clients once this deal closes." He puts his hands on his hips and walks a few feet away from me.

"You printed the wrong document," I say. "Look at the date?" I point a finger to the second page in the binder. He doesn't believe me, I can tell. He moves right next to me and looks to where my finger is pointed.

"This is dated three weeks ago," I say, glancing up at him again.

He sighs heavily, cursing under his breath. "Great, it's my fault I looked like a complete idiot today. How could I have made such a stupid mistake?" He turns and starts pacing. He's wound up so tight I can almost feel the stress oozing out of him. He also seems nervous, but I can't figure out why.

"You need more sleep," I say candidly. This only seems to irritate him. I'm not going to win any battles with him today, even if I have the better argument.

"No, I need more employees who are willing to stay here after seven at night to get the work done. Did you tell Danielle she could leave?"

"Yes, I did. Will, there are plenty of available associates who can help you with the work. That's not an excuse and you know it. The reason you printed the wrong document is because you you've been working yourself into the ground, and were here too late last night. You got sloppy. You made a mistake because you haven't gotten enough sleep in weeks."

I thought he'd calm down. But he doesn't. "Alicia, I can't afford to make mistakes, there's too much at stake. Why can't you understand that?"

This conversation or argument is beginning to not make much sense. "What do you mean there's too much at stake? If you were sleeping at night, and coming to work with a clear head, you wouldn't be making these kinds of mistakes. You've got to get more sleep."

"Don't you think I want to get more sleep? You think I want to be awake for hours at night head bent over my laptop making sure I have everything ready for the next day in court, or for the next meeting?"

I'm irritated now. "You don't have to do that in the middle of the night. You're always prepared. Yes, you put in a few late nights here and there. But the past few weeks it's been ridiculous. And we both know it's not work that's keeping you up at night. You're using work as your excuse."

He glares at me again. "You're wrong." He moves past me towards the door. "I'll be home later. Take the car, I'll ride the train." He disappears around the corner before I can say anything else.

I shake my head, blowing air from my lips in frustration. I turn back towards his desk and stare out the windows behind it. I don't know how to fix this right now. I can't just force him to go talk to a professional. How am I going to do that? I can't even get him to open to me, let alone a complete stranger. I go back to my own office and get ready to head home.

/

I don't sleep well. Will still wasn't home when I went to bed. I heard him come in awhile later, but I was barely awake. It's 3:30 in the morning now. I glance to his side of the bed. He's not there, but it appears that he had been. I brush my hand over the sheets. They're still warm. He probably hasn't been up very long.

I climb out of bed, and make my way down the hall. It's dark. I briefly wonder if he's left the apartment, but then I see his dark figure sitting on the sofa near the window. I don't say anything, just go to sit by him. Neither of us says anything for a long while.

"Leesh, I'm sorry," he breaks the silence, placing his hand on my knee.

I reach to thread my fingers with his. "I know." I wait for him to continue. The only way he's going to open up is if he wants to.

"I'm just so tired. I can't sleep. I wake up and my heart is racing. Some nights I check the locks on the door a half dozen times, and I sit out here doing nothing, worrying that any moment someone will come through the front door and try to take me again. Or worse, that they'll try to take you or Mira." He finally meets my gaze. "Or sometimes the things that happened to me that night play over and over in my mind, and I just...I thought they were going to kill me, and it scares me to death to think about it."

He shakes his head. "I'm supposed to be able to protect you and the baby from them, and I don't feel like I can right now, not completely, and that terrifies me." He runs a hand through his hair. "I don't understand it. I never had these issues after we both got shot."

"No, you didn't. But I did," I say, softly. "And you were there for me then, just like I'm here for you now. But you can't keep shutting me out. This isn't something you get through on your own."

I shift moving closer to him. "I'm not going to pretend I know what this is like for you. It makes me sick to even think about what they did to you that gave you those injuries. Every time I see that scar on your back I want to cry. I know you've kept the details of that night from me because you don't want me to have those images running through my mind. You're trying to protect me, and I understand that. I love you for it. But you need to talk to someone. This is one of those times where we aren't going to be able to fix this on our own." I try hard to swallow the lump in my throat. I hate to see him suffering like this. And I know he probably hates the idea of getting professional help. I fought the idea after the shooting. But he needs to do this.

"Yeah, okay." He squeezes my hand. "But I don't want anyone to know I'm seeing a professional, especially not Sutton. I'm going to have to tell a psychologist what happened, there's no way around it. And if Sutton finds out someone else knows..."

He doesn't have to say more. I know what he means.

"I'm sure we can work that out. But Will, we have to find a way to get out from under him. We can't live the next fifteen years of our professional lives worrying about him. Especially when it effects our personal lives so much."

"I know," he admits for the first time. He wraps his arm around me pulling me closer. "I'm working on that," he says.

I wonder what he has planned, because I've tried for months to think of a good way to get out of this.

"I was way out of line with Danielle today."

I nod, and smile a little. "I'm sure it's nothing an apology and a gift card to one of her favorite places can't fix."

He glances at me with a smile. "I'll work on that tomorrow." He sighs sleepily. "Thank you for talking with me. I feel a little better already." He rests his head on my shoulder and closes his eyes.

"I think you should take something to help you sleep. I have some over-the-counter sleeping pills in the medicine cabinet. You should stay home from work tomorrow and rest. Any work you need to get done, you can do from here."

"Okay," he replies. We sit there in the dark for a few more minutes before we go back to our room.

I curl up next to him in bed, my arm tightly around him. "If you keep waking up during the night, I want you to wake me so we can talk, okay?"

"Yes," he replies, quietly. A few minutes later he's asleep. We'll start looking for a good psychologist tomorrow.


End file.
